Normero, You've Got Mail (reboot)
by burbankstorylady
Summary: This is the reboot of NORMERO GOT MAIL, which started as a three-way crossover (You've Got Mail/Bates Motel and another fanfic on site called CHAOS WITHOUT YOU.) Joe Fox/Kathleen Kelly implicit; Alex Romero/Norma Bates explicit. Ephron-sister wording, quoting & 'tweaking.' References to The Shop Around the Corner (1940) as well.
1. Chapter 1

**"I hear nothing, not even a sound on the streets…. Just the beat of my own heart. I have mail. From you." _Meg Ryan, in the role of Kathleen Kelly (You've Got Mail_, screenplay by sisters Nora and Delia Ephron)**

* * *

Chaos in the morning. Chaos all the time.

"Come on, sleepyhead. Wake up. Time for school."

"No, Mom."

"Yes, Daughter."

Norma Bates kissed her almost four-year-old, Briana Romero, on the cheek, but Briana refused to open her eyes.

"No, Mom. Five more minutes."

"You said that five minutes ago. Come on, I made your favorite."

Still with her eyes closed, Briana nonetheless showed a small sign of relenting. "Blueberry pancakes?"

Norma smiled in satisfaction, knowing she won. "With lots of whipped cream."

Briana's eyes shot open and she giggled. "Who are you and what have you done with my mom? She never lets me have whipped cream."

Norma chuckled. "That was just to get you to wake up. You still can't have whipped cream."

"Dirty trick, Mom. I'm telling Dad."

"He'll be on my side," Norma said, ignoring the pang of pain in her chest. "Now get up."

Briana loved to try to be independent, but Norma still had to help her get dressed. She had to hold the wool stockings for Briana to put her legs in and she patiently aided her frustrated daughter in fastening the buckles on the little sandals. With Briana dressed and ready for the day with a clean face and clean teeth, mother and daughter went downstairs to the kitchen to eat pancakes. Norma poured her homemade jam, made from real fruit (no preservatives and nothing processed) on the pancakes. She hated to use something like syrup, which in her opinion was as bad as eating a bag of sugar. Luckily for Briana, Norma's healthy organic jam was delicious.

"You know your dad's gonna pick you up today because it's Friday and it's his weekend to have you," Norma informed her daughter, sadly. The house was always so quiet and lonely without her daughter.

"I know," said Briana happily. She loved it when her dad picked her up at school in his Sheriff SUV. All the kids at school were impressed that her dad was a "police man."

After Norma dropped Briana off at preschool, she went to the motel office to check on the day's work. The Bates Motel was actually doing quite well and had been for some time, thanks to an aggressive social media campaign and revamping of the website, all strategies pushed on Norma by her son Dylan. Dylan had taught her a lot about hashtags and online advertising. Even with the bypass leading mainline traffic away from the motel, the Bates Motel became a kind best kept secret hideaway for people who preferred the older, quainter, off the beaten path part of White Pine Bay. The biggest competition, King's Inn, was in the middle of town and attracted some shady elements. The Bates Motel, by contrast, was known to be run by Mrs. Bates, who had a reputation for being kinda nutty, but she was so pretty and always so pleasant. Her motel was regarded as the family friendly alternative to King's. So business kept coming despite that damned Lee Berman Bypass taking Portland daytrippers to the flashy and garish mini malls and outlet stores; and thus Norma was able to hire two employees part-time, an evening shift desk clerk and someone to help clean and maintain the rooms. Norma herself manned the desk while Briana was at school.

In the office alone now, Norma revved up her laptop and went to check her email. She had a few email addresses. There was _manager_ at batesmotel dot com for business; there was normabates at gmail for personal and day-to-day things like Briana's activities; and finally there was maybethistime at gmail which only she and one other person knew about.

Two years ago, Norma had met xelaromeo on twitter, one of the many social media platforms Dylan pressured her to join and master for the sake of promoting the motel. Neither she nor xelaromeo wanted to reveal real names. Norma had made two accounts, one where she was officially the owner of the Bates Motel and another where she could just browse her feed and send direct messages to xelaromeo anonymously. Eventually, the two decided to exchange emails instead. Without knowing exactly what kind of business she owned, he occasionally gave her generic advice, only when solicited of course; his tips were the kind of tips you might give any person who is just trying to balance cost and benefit. He was always a gentleman. Norma loved having a person to air out ideas to and not have to worry about judgement from having too much emotional connection to the person. Xelaromeo was an objective outsider. He took her at her word. He assumed and believed the best about her.

Fake email addresses. Made only for each other.

Norma kept all of his emails. She checked it every morning and every morning there was a new one.

_Dear Maybe This Time,_

_It's my weekend to have my daughter at my house. Let me tell you a bit about what it's like to have her at my house. First, I pick her up from preschool. I put her in the booster seat in the backseat. She's not quite four. She smells like crayons and finger paint. She tells me everything that happened from the time she woke up to the time I drove up to the school. Did you know that I'm married? Did I mention that? My wife and I are separated. We separated a long time ago and for some reason just don't get around to drawing up divorce papers. I think it's because neither of us wants a divorce. I know I don't. I keep hoping she'll take me back. Sometimes I think she might. And then she doesn't. I go back to hoping, longing. I've never told anyone this. I don't really have friends. There is a coworker of mine. We talk sometimes but we seldom go into many details. We give each other advice here and there, when the other asks for it. I told him a little about you. Don't worry, friend. I don't know much. There wasn't much to tell. He knows we only know each other on the internet. He knows you own a business. We've started trying to guess what kind of business it is. It's become a game between us. Something to banter about in the office. He is convinced that you run a bookshop. I imagine it's a cafe, or a catering business, because you talk about food a lot. So long, my friend._

_XR_

Norma's heart beat wildly as she read the entire email three times. He talked about her to his friend! He talked about her in his real life! There was a lot to digest here. They had so much in common. Both married, but estranged from their spouses. A daughter in preschool. Could it be Alex? No, Norma told herself. Ridiculous! Alex didn't use social media. His only email was his sheriff email. He never talked about anything with any of his coworkers, all of whom were his inferiors. He didn't have friends. And he most certainly did not wish to get back together with Norma, or so she thought. Besides, Norma had formed a rather elaborate idea of XR being a big shot in New York City. Hence all the useful business tips he gave her. She imagined him having a big dog too, like a golden retriever, named Chief or Scout or something equally cute, that was his best friend in the world. If Alex ever got a dog (and Norma hoped he wouldn't, although Briana wanted a dog) she imagined him having a more "police-like dog" (her words, to herself only) like a German Shepard or maybe a Rottweiler.

Rania came in wearing her cleaning uniform and ready for work. Rania was a young girl, barely out of high school, and a part-time student at Trout Lake Community College. She lived with her parents. She was a hard worker and, despite her cynical attitude, a great listener and a good person whom everyone liked having around.

"Hi, Norma, I'm sorry I'm late. Did you get my message?"

"Yes, I did. It's ok, Rania. First time for everything."

"You really are the best boss," said Rania sincerely. "I won't be late again. I stayed with my brother last night and he lives a bit farther out. He broke up with his girlfriend and really needed to talk it out."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"I never really liked her. Personally, I'm glad it's over between them. I think he can do better."

"Spoken like a loving sister who wants only the best for her brother!"

Rania smiled. "Yeah, I guess so. He's a sucker for a pretty face, though. Like most guys."

Norma smirked. "Well, now we can't be too harsh on mankind. We womenfolk like a pretty face as much as any man."

Rania was amused watching Norma busy-body around the office. Norma even picked up a crayon off the floor and smelled it dramatically as if inhaling the scent of a rose.

"School supplies in the fall! Aren't they wonderful, Rania? My daughter. I love taking her shopping for new school supplies. I bought her a new set, with 200 crayons. Imagine 200 colors! She drew a picture for me everyday this week, except this morning, because she drew one for her father."

Rania frowned. "Sheriff Romero pulled me over for speeding the other day."

Norma laughed. "Rania! Why were you speeding? Don't speed through life. You'll miss it. Did he write you a ticket?"

"No. I wasn't going much over the limit. I explained that I was on my way to work and he seemed impressed. He told me to be careful, drive safely, and he let me go."

"That was nice of him," Norma said, surprised that Stoic Alex had been so lenient.

"Yeah, I think it was just because I work for you."

Norma rolled her eyes. "That's ridiculous. Alex doesn't do favoritism."

Rania shrugged. "I suppose it had more to do with the fact that the election is less than two months away."

"So cynical, Rania!"

"OK, Norma, what's going on with you? Why won't you stop smiling? Not that I don't love it."

"Oh, it's nothing."

"OK, you know what, I'm just gonna stand here until you tell me. Because there are only two rooms I need to clean today and it doesn't look like anyone has checked out. So I've got lots of time and, remember, you pay me for my time."

Norma stopped busy-bodying and looked at her young friend. On the surface, Rania looked like any other barely 19-year-old. Put aside the cleaning maid's uniform and her pigtail braids. But there was something wiser than her years about her. Norma always got the feeling Rania was some sort of empath, like she could feel what others were feeling even if she barely knew them.

Norma sighed. "OK. Rania? Is it a relationship if it's only online?"

"Have you had sex?"

Norma was shocked by the question. "No. We only know each other online."

"I meant cyber sex."

Rania shook her head, knowing by Norma's face that the answer was no. "You know what, don't do it. As soon as you do, they lose all respect for you."

"Well, it's not like that," Norma assured her. "On top of which, I'm thinking about stopping because it's getting…."

"Out of hand?"

"Confusing." Norma shook her head and pretended to wave the dilemma away. "But not. Because it's nothing."

"Where'd you meet him?"

"Oh, you know, I can't even remember," she lied.

Rania knew a lie when she saw one, especially from Norma. Norma was the worst liar. Ever.

* * *

Sheriff Alexander Romero spent most work days alone in his office, doing paperwork and computer work. He had deputies to do patrols. Sometimes he filled a vacuum to do patrols himself, alongside a deputy, but usually he was in his office. His favorite deputy, Jeffcoat, happened to be in his office at the moment, briefing him on some open cases.

"Sheriff?"

"Hmm?"

"I know you're not listening to a word I'm saying. You got a new email, didn't you?"

Alex broke out into a crazy smile. Jeffcoat laughed. "Sonofabitch, you're in love with a phantom."

"Jeffcoat, you're lucky I like you."

"Sheriff, with all due respect, you spend an awful lot of time thinking about a woman you know nothing about and whom you're unlikely to ever meet in person."

"Deputy, with all due respect, it's not your concern who I think about."

"Fair enough. I'm gonna go file these reports."

Jeffcoat left him alone and the first thing Alex did was pop open his laptop. He went to his private email and, lo and behold, there was the one thing to make his heart skip a beat….

_Dear Friend,_

_I like to begin my emails to you as if we're in the middle of a conversation. I pretend that we're the oldest and dearest of friends instead of what we actually are: people who have never met and who met in a twitter thread of a tweet by a president we both claim to have not voted for. (I did not, you say you did not! I hope you did not!) Do you have any idea how much your messages mean to me? I get up. I have coffee. I wake up my daughter. She's the same age as yours! I cook breakfast. We eat together. I take her to school. I come home. I go to work. My business is right next to my home. Did I ever mention that? I open my laptop. What will XelaRomeo say today, I wonder. I turn on my computer. I await impatiently as it boots up. I go online and my breath catches in my chest until I see the bold type of a new email._

Ever since the DEA came in and busted up the illegal drug business in White Pine Bay, and of course, Oregon legalized recreational pot in 2015, Alex found he had a little more time on his hands. Even fatherhood didn't really change that. Norma helped him with Briana, and really, being completely honest, it was Norma who did the real heavy lifting of parenthood. Alex was always glad to lift whatever load he could. He loved being Briana's father. He loved helping Norma. He wished she would allow him to do more! He fantasized about it being Norma on the other side of the "maybethistime" email, but he was afraid to hope. He rationalized that Norma was the least likely person to be MaybeThisTime. She was too busy. She was too private, even secretive to be so open about her life with a stranger.

"I feel like I'm cheating on Norma," he confessed to Deputy Jeffcoat.

"Dude, you and Norma don't even live together. And you're just writing emails." Jeffcoat arched his brow. "Right? Have you had cyber sex?"

"God no!"

Jeffcoat sighed. "Not that it would be a problem. I mean, you and Norma are separated. I doubt she expects you to be celibate."

Alex became very sad all of a sudden. He hadn't had sex with anyone other than himself in more than four years, nor with anyone other than Norma in more time than that. His marriage to Norma still felt real. Emailing MaybeThisTime felt like cheating even though he knew, rationally, that it was not.

"She revealed today that her business is right next to her house."

"Just like Norma," said Jeffcoat, more as a statement of curious observation to himself than a question.

"Yeah. Just like Norma."

"You don't think...?"

Alex shook his head, cutting off the idea. "Nah. Lots of people live above their business or next to it, or even have their business in the house. Right?"

"Sure," Jeffcoat agreed. "Lots of people do that."

"Her daughter is the same age as Briana. Shit, speaking of Briana, I gotta go."

* * *

"Daddy, it's the StoryBook Lady!" Briana pointed at a sign in front of a bookstore that had been a favorite in White Pine Bay since Alex was a child.

Alex, still in uniform, had taken his daughter to the local fair where he won a goldfish for her. He now carried said goldfish, swimming around in a bag of water, in the hand not being held by Briana.

The bookshop was owned today by Kathleen Novak, the daughter of founder Klara who had been the living owner in Alex's boyhood. Kathleen and Alex had graduated from White Pine Bay High School in the same year. They were never friends, they never hung out, but they were always friendly to each other. She always had a smile, always called him Alex, and always asked how Norma and Briana were doing. She was one of the nicest, most upbeat people in White Pine Bay. Alex didn't understand how someone like her stayed unmarried all these years. If Alex ever bothered to keep up with local gossip (which he never did) he'd have known that Kathleen had been dating for many years a guy who was a columnist at the Oregonian.

"Are we at the right time, sweetheart? Yeah, yeah, let's go." Briana squealed and pulled her daddy into the bookshop.

The bookshop was so quiet, all that could be heard was Kathleen Novak, the owner, reading to a big group of children. Alex stifled a chuckle at Kathleen wearing a wizard hat and reading aloud The Great Mouse Plot by Roald Dahl. Briana didn't understand much of what was being read, but she was delighted by Kathleen's demeanor and way of pronouncing the words. Alex was mesmerized as well. Kathleen was so passionate about books, especially ones for children. Her enthusiasm reminded him of Norma. Both women were sunshine in the cold universe.

After the storybook session, everyone went back to browsing the bookshop. Briana wanted to find a book about princesses.

"Alex! So good to see you! Hi, Briana!" Kathleen came over to talk to them.

"Hi!" said Briana. "Look at my fish!"

Alex smirked as he gestured to the fish in his Briana-free hand. Kathleen marveled over it. "Wow! A goldfish! You lucky girl! Do you want to find a book about fish?"

Briana shook her head. "No. I want a book about princesses."

"Princesses huh?" Kathleen gushed. She bent down to the girl's level. "Well, I happen to know about a little girl called Betsy Ray, Briana. She got into a lot of adventures."

"Was she a princess?"

"She was! All girls are princesses, don't you know that?"

Kathleen showed them the Betsy-Tacy books and Briana was intrigued. "I want all of them. Can we buy them, Daddy?"

Kathleen tried to help Alex by suggesting that it was a lot of books to buy at once.

"Daddy buys me all the books I want, right, Daddy?"

Alex laughed. "That's right, Monkey. We'll buy two books today. That'll keep us busy for the weekend. We'll buy more on our next visit."

At the cash register, employee George winked and smiled at Kathleen. "You see? This is why we're not gonna go under, because our customers are loyal."

"They're opening up a Barnes & Noble off the bypass," Kathleen said to Alex, rolling her eyes. "You know, the world is not driven by profits. I used to help my mother in the store, since I was six years old, and it wasn't just that she was selling books. She was helping people find who they wanted to be."

Alex was struck. Quite hard. It hit him how much like Norma this woman was. This woman he had known in high school. Always finding the sun, always finding the light in a world of darkness.

"Because when you read a book as a child it becomes part of your identity in a way no other reading does..." Kathleen laughed. "I've gotten carried away."

"Yeah," said Alex, nodding. "You have. You've made me feel enchanted. Your mother was enchanting."

"Yes, she was," agreed Kathleen, impressed by his recognition of so obvious a fact. "You remember her, Alex?"

"I do. A little." He pointed at the framed photograph of mother and daughter behind her. "Is that you in the photograph? It's you and your mother, right?"

Kathleen beamed. "Oh, yes. My mother and I, twirling. I remember your mother too. She was so kind to me. My mother said she would always bring you here for books. I think she said you particularly liked The Very Hungry Caterpillar."

Alex laughed. "I made my mom read it to me every night for a little while. Speaking of which, do you have that? I'd like to buy it for this little monkey."

Briana, in her daddy's arms, busied herself with flipping through one of the two books her father had just bought for her. Kathleen beamed at the task of finding The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle. She found it quickly and Alex paid for it and left with Briana, both father and daughter feeling excited. Alex could hardly believe he had never thought to read his childhood favorite book to his daughter, but he was grateful to Kathleen for reminding him of it and he could hardly wait to read it to Briana.

They were crossing the street when Briana suddenly pointed and shouted, "Mommy!"

Alex's eyes followed Briana's direction. Norma was just then emerging from the "In a Wink" dry cleaners. She halted mid step and had to adjust her balance as she noticed them too. Her face broke out into absolute delight on seeing her daughter and Alex.

"Baby!" She waved before adjusting the freshly cleaned shirts that she was carrying. She stepped toward them.

"Mommy, look at my new books Daddy bought for me!"

"Baby, that's so great."

"He won me a fish too at the fair."

"A fish? Oh my goodness!" Norma gave Alex a questioning look.

"Don't worry, Norma," said Alex. "The fish stays at my house."

"Oh, I don't mind about that. I think it's wonderful, and of course Briana will be in charge of the fish. You have to take care of it, honey. It's a living thing. Are you going to remember to feed your fish everyday?"

Briana nodded emphatically. "Yes, Mommy. We got fish food at the pet store."

"Well, then you're all set, aren't you?"

"Almost. Daddy ordered the fish tank but it won't be here until next week."

"Oh."

"It was backordered," Alex explained. "The store gave us a bowl for the meantime." (He held up the bag from the pet store, containing, the round fish bowl.)

"His name is Joe!"

"Joe!" Norma laughed. "You're naming your fish Joe?"

"Yeah!" Briana giggled.

"We're going to grab a bite to eat, will you join us?" Alex asked Norma hopefully.

"Yeah, Mom, come on! Tacos!"

Norma was surprised at Alex's invitation. She gladly accepted it. While Norma went to put her clothes in her car, Alex and Briana went to put their stuff in his SUV, and then the three met up again in front of Todo Taco.

Briana carried her fish into the restaurant. The maitre d' offered to take the fish off their hands during their meal, but Briana became very fussy about the idea.

"He's my fish. I'm the one supposed to take care of him."

"Sweetie," Norma pleaded with her daughter. "You can't eat your tacos and hold the fish. Let this nice man take the fish for just while we eat our meal. He's going to take very good care of it, aren't you, Sir?"

The man grinned. "Yes, ma'am. We have our best people on top of it. Your fish will not want for anything, little girl."

"I'm not a little girl. I'm almost four."

"Briana," Norma said in a scolding voice. "Don't be rude."

"Come on, Briana," said Alex, losing patience. "Give the man the fish. Joe will be in good hands. Just while we eat."

Alex had used the voice that Briana knew better than to defy and the issue was solved.

Norma knew she should feel grateful but instead she felt resentful and jealous of Alex's effortless ability to make Briana do the right thing. She suppressed her resentment for the time being, however. She wasn't going to be that mother who disrespected her daughter's father in front of her daughter. But what right did he have to decide Briana could have a fish? And then he had the gall to act like the fish could stay at his house? Of course the fish would have to go where Briana went. How would she learn responsibility for her first pet unless she had to take care of it everyday? So now Norma had to take on the expense and labor of a fish tank. Sure, Alex had paid for it at the store, but Norma would have to buy one for her house too, because they couldn't move the fish between their houses in the fish tank. They'd have to use a travel bowl. And as for Briana, at not even the age of four, yet, cleaning the fish tank periodically, it was out of the question. Too dangerous. She could electrocute herself! No, as usual, the hard labor of the "fun" would fall on Norma's shoulders. Leave it to Alex to make such a life altering decision without discussing it with the mother of his child first!

Norma maintained her smile for the world to enjoy. Meanwhile, Alex was oblivious to having caused any offense. He was in a fantastic mood. Having tacos on a Friday night with his two favorite girls! And just after rediscovering an old childhood favorite book, which he planned to read to his daughter later in the evening! Life couldn't get better!

Alex decided that, in order to keep the conversation flowing and avoid awkward silences, he would tell Norma all about his encounter with Kathleen Novak. "She's going through the same trouble you've been going through with the motel and the bypass. Only possibly worse. Motels will probably never be obsolete, unlike mom-and-pops bookstores."

"Yeah, that is sad," agreed Norma. "But I mean, bookstores of any kind are already out of the budget for most people. I'd rather support the local library, which anyone can use, even the local homeless. Books should be free, shouldn't they?"

Alex shrugged. "I suppose. But the Novaks' shop has been a source of local pride around here for three generations."

"Well, pride is great, Alex, but what use is it if a book at that store cost more than a Happy Meal? I mean, at least Walmart puts it in the discount bin, marked down 20%? I'm not saying I'd buy it at Walmart anymore than I'd buy it at Kathleen's store, because like I said, I prefer to use the library, but what do shops like hers do for educating the rest of us who can't afford her prices?"

Alex was annoyed. Norma was angry.

"Norma, would you stop to consider that if Walmart didn't exist, Kathleen wouldn't have to charge those prices? If she could get them as cheaply as Walmart gets them?"

"Alex, did you ever consider that outside the gated communities of White Pine Bay Walmart is literally the only thing there is? I mean, I realize that in your world, people grow up going to lights festivals and street fairs, but there are people out there for whom Walmart is a luxury. For them, living in a place like this and buying books at Kathleen's Charming Little Book Heaven would be like living as a king!"

They stared at each other, Alex becoming angry and Norma being defiant.

For Briana's sake, they agreed to disagree and say no more about it, but the feelings hung over them like a bad rash.

Later, as she sat in bed on her computer, Norma wrote to Xelaromeo.

To: Xelaromeo

From: Maybethistime

Subj.: In case you're wondering I'm not perfect

Do you ever feel you become the worst version of yourself? That a pandora's box of all the secret, shameful parts (your arrogance, your spite, your resentment) has sprung open. Someone provokes you and instead of just smiling and moving on, you zing them. Hello it's the Crazy Bitch! I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about.

* * *

To: Maybethistime

From: Xelaromeo

Subject: In case you're wondering I'm not perfect

I know what you mean and I'm jealous! What happens to me when I'm provoked is I get tongue tied. I even stutter. My mind goes blank. Worse is when I say something stupid and I spend all night wishing it unsaid and hoping I never see the person again. What should I have said to her tonight who belittled my entire existence?

* * *

To: Xelaromeo

From: Maybethistime

Subject: In case you're wondering I'm not perfect

Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could pass all of my zingers to you, and then I would never behave badly and you could behave badly all the time? And we'd both be happy. But then on the other hand, I must warn you, that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows.

* * *

To: Maybethistime

From: Xelaromeo

Subject: In case you're wondering I'm not perfect

Do you think we should meet?


	2. Chapter 2

"Meet?" Norma stared at the email. Their email exchange tonight was a first in many ways. For one, it was the first time that she received replies from him right after hers were sent. Clearly, they were both online now. Just knowing that, oddly, made Norma feel a new sense of intimacy with him. But this idea of meeting? After they had expressly agreed never to share identifying personal details (like names, work places, addresses, pictures.) Now he suggested meeting her face to face? Another idea came to her and was even more alarming: if he was suggesting a meet, did that mean they were closer in geography than her imagination (of him being a big shot in Manhattan) led her to believe? Moreover, he seemed aware of that. Meet where? Halfway between themselves? Like, what if he was as close as Portland? Or what if...? She shook her head and closed the computer, not even wanting to entertain those ideas.

She lay in bed replaying two conversations she had this night: the argument with Alex at the restaurant and the emails from Xelaromeo. Starkly different. Her argument with Alex had been the culmination of hurt feelings. She was hurt by Alex's excess of compassion for Kathleen what's-her-face and the troubles of Kathleen's business; he made it worse by comparing it to Norma's situation! Norma was stung by that most of all given that he knew how hard it had been for her to rebuild the motel. After everything she went through (the bullshit with the scumbag triumvirate who had run an illegal sex trade out of the motel, Lee Berman's condescension to her, the bullshit with Bob Paris) he actually compared her toil as Bates Motel owner/manager to some quirky storybook lady. Kathleen had _inherited_ her business, for crying out loud! No one gave Norma anything, not even so much as a crumb in her entire life!

Why was she being so hard on Alex? Sure, he should know better than to compare apples and oranges, but after all, he was just being nice... to Kathleen what's-her-face. Did Norma that she wanted his compassion exclusively to herself? Was she jealous of Kathleen what's-her-face? Norma scoffed at the idea and tried to put it out of her head as she switched off the bedside lamp and tried to sleep.

* * *

Montage, with music : "Dummy Song" by Louis Armstrong

*Norma walks into Luke's Coffee Shop and orders a Caramel Macchiato, all without noticing Alex trying to slip out of the same coffee shop, using a newspaper to hide his face.

*Norma buying flowers on the street, then seeing Alex across the street, and trying to hide herself behind a bouquet of daisies.

*Norma pushing a shopping cart in the grocery store. Sees Alex enter the store. Norma tries to hide behind the cheese.

It was around Thanksgiving week. Norma was in the checkout line.

She keeps glancing self-consciously back at Alex, who is in another line.

_God. Please. Don't let him see me. Just let me get out of here without being noticed. _

Only she got in the cash-only line by mistake. Rose, the cashier, is like, lady stop wasting my time.

"There's a sign," says the man in line behind Norma.

"I know, I made a mistake," says Norma.

"Lady, get in another line," says another person. "This is cash only."

Norma pleads with Rose, the cashier. "Can't you make an exception this one time? I see you have a credit card machine right here. Please?"

"Cash only, get in another line," says Rose without any emotion at all, unless you count disdain as an emotion.

Norma is about to issue her classic Norma-Louise-style attack à la _Really, Seriously, Screw Off Shithead_ when Alex steps up, in full Sheriff Bulldog mode.

"Is there a problem here?"

"No, Alex, it's fine."

The man behind her in line interjects. "Sheriff, this lady got in the cash only line but has no cash!"

"Yeah, she has no cash!" someone behind him echoed.

"She has no cash?" someone else asked.

"No, she has no cash," and so on further down the line of annoyed holiday shoppers.

Alex looked at Norma smugly, his eyes saying to her, _You got yourself into quite a dilemma here, haven't you?_

She glared at him, knowing full well what he was thinking and wishing she could sock him where it hurts most.

Alex sighed and, after glancing at the cash amount on the customer screen, riffled through his wallet. "Here," he said, handing Rose a wad of cash.

"Alex, put your money away. That isn't necessary."

He ignored her. "This should cover it," he said, handing Rose four twenties. "Give the change to her." He walked off, no doubt feeling like quite the hero.

Norma was furious. How dare he walk away like that, thinking it's perfectly ok to always be her hero, saving her ass in crazy scenarios? Who did he think he was, some kind of Prince Charming? Or worse, Mr. Darcy saving the honor of Elizabeth Bennet? Norma read _Pride and Prejudice_. Frankly, she thought the book was a crock of shit. In Norma's experience, even if a girl did manage to marry some unrealistic Darcy figure, said "Darcy figure" quickly showed that his true colors were nothing like the ones he showed to seduce her. Alex was just doing what he always did: _Let me take care of it, Norma_. In other words, _let me take over the ship, Norma. Just trust me._ Time and time again, until he went too far and tried to have her son committed to Pineview, using her other son to bypass her. Norma had forgiven him for that. She wasn't angry at him anymore. Briana's birth and Briana growing up, so lovely, had largely softened her anger and grief over Norman. She came to realize that being angry at Alex had just been her way of dealing with the anger she felt toward herself.***(see note)** Still, it was galling the way Alex thought it was his job to swoop in and save her all the time, all the while comparing her to inheritors like Kathleen what's-her-face.

* * *

It's Christmas time. A hard time for Alex every year because of his mother. He never talks about his mother's suicide with anyone. There was that one time he got drunk, called Norma to pick him up, and told her that his mom had committed suicide. But that was Norma. His Norma. He wouldn't go confiding in just anyone about something like that. And there was never a more than 'just anyone' until Norma. But now, he and Norma seemed farther apart than ever.

_It's coming on Christmas,_

_They're cutting down trees._

His mother used to listen to Joni Mitchell.

_I wish I had a river so long,_

_I would teach my feet to fly._

The one person right now he felt comfortable talking to was Maybethistime, who had also been avoiding him ever since he asked if she thought they should meet. He wrote to her anyway.

_"Such a sad song,"_ he typed in the email. _"Not really about Christmas at all but I was thinking about it as I was wrapping the presents for my daughter and missing my mother so much I almost couldn't breathe. I always miss my mother at Christmas, but somehow it's worse this year. Maybe it's that my daughter is turning four and she'll never know her grandmother. Maybe it's that we're now at four Christmases where I'm like a boat left at sea and even though the anchor is set, my heart longs for the port. I'm sure my mother would tell me to just bring the boat home. Simple, right? Just go where you want to be. I guess the reason I don't do it is fear of being unwelcome."_

The reply came within seconds of Alex sending that email. It was an instant message in the hangout window of the lower left corner of Gmail. Something Alex had never paid attention to before.

Maybethistime: Can I help?

When no reply came, because Alex was too stunned to type...

Maybethistime: I had a gut feeling you would be online. Do you want to talk about it?

Xelaromeo: There's not very much to say.

Maybethistime: I don't think it's simple at all, the idea of just going home. Going home can be the hardest thing to do.

Xelaromeo: Yeah. I'm sorry about what I said in my email before last. About meeting up. I know we said we wouldn't do that.

Maybethistime: It took me by surprise.

Xelaromeo: I guess I'd had one too many Scotches. :)

Maybethistime: lol it's ok.

Xelaromeo: You remind me of someone.

Maybethistime: I do?

Xelaromeo: Yeah my wife actually.

Maybethistime: It's odd how much we have in common. I mean, you and I.

Xelaromeo: Yeah I guess that's part of why I'm so curious about you, why I'd like to meet you, even though I know it's impossible.

Maybethistime: I have this image of you.

Xelaromeo: Oh yeah?

Maybethistime: Don't laugh.

Xelaromeo: I won't.

Maybethistime: Promise?

Xelaromeo: Yes

Maybethistime: I just picture you typing away at a Starbucks in Manhattan.

Xelaromeo? Manhattan? Why?

Maybethistime: I don't know. I guess because it's as far as you can go from where I am, in multiple senses. I'm not only across the country, I'm in as small a town as you can be, and not even in the town itself. I'm like just over the town limit.

Xelaromeo: Another similarity. I live in a small town too, not NYC.

Maybethistime: Dammit! I thought maybe you'd turn out to be some rich banker, like on Wall Street or something, and we'd fall in love like Jimmy Stewart and Margaret Sullavan. Of course, neither one of them was a rich banker, but you know what I mean.

Xelaromeo: Actually, I have no idea. What movie are you referencing?

Maybethistime: OMG you haven't seen _The Shop Around the Corner_?

Xelaromeo: No.

Maybethistime: Watch it. You'll love it. Trust me.

Xelaromeo: OK.

Maybethistime: How do you imagine me? Or where?

Xelaromeo: Well, you've given me enough details to put something of a picture together. You live next to your business, or over it. I have an idea from how much you love cooking that it might be a catering business. I think you're beautiful.

Maybethistime: How could you possibly know what I look like?

Xelaromeo: I don't. But I still think you're beautiful.

Maybethistime: Nice work, XelaROMEO. Thank you. I have to go. We should do this again some time.

* * *

***NOTE: The **_**Chaos Without You **_**chapters "Troubled Hearts," "Fighting for Love," and "Blue Shades of Love" offer a heart-wrenching interpretation of Norma's feelings around that. Story by Normero-Benzo.**

* * *

It was no longer possible for Alex to go to work or do anything, even hang out with Briana, without having half his mind occupied by the enigmatic, Norma-like beauty who called herself Maybethistime and, apparently, fantasized about him being a rich banker and desperately in love with her. He felt ridiculous every time he had to force himself to shake her out of his head. "I'm sorry, sweetie," he'd say after Briana had to repeat her request for more mashed potatoes.

He was walking back to the station with a fresh cup of coffee from Luke's and almost didn't notice the ruckus happening in front of Kathleen's bookshop. If it wasn't for Kathleen herself standing on a soapbox and talking through a bullhorn, he might have remained oblivious. However, bullhorns have an annoying way of ruining one's inner fantasies about Norma-like entities on the internet who want to fall in love with you.

"Do you want White Pine Bay to become one big gigantic strip mall?"

"No!" chanted the slowly expanding crowd around Kathleen.

"Do you want to wake up one day and not even recognize your own town, not even know you're in White Pine Bay?"

"No!"

"Don't our children deserve more than cheap books?"

"Yes!"

Alex had to chuckle at the last one. He crossed the street in order to draw closer to the commotion. Many in the crowd had signs as if ready to do a picket line. He came to a standstill, so intent on Kathleen, he failed to notice the man beside him. The man looked at Alex and seemed to have a burst of recognition. "Alex Romero?"

Alex jerked his head and looked at the man. He had to be about Alex's age, wore glasses, and had a definite academic appearance. "Yes? Do we know each other?"

The man laughed. "Yeah! WPB High? Fred Novotny."

"Sorry, I..."

The man laughed. "No worries. We never really hung out. I wasn't even friends with Kathy in those days. I was too much of a nerd. Still am, if I'm honest."

Alex forced a very unconvincing laugh. "Right. So what are you up to now?"

"Oh, I'm just doing what I can to help Kathy." He indicated the newspaper in his hand. "I wrote about the Berman bypass in the paper. What a tragedy it's been for the area. People in Portland eat that shit up. We brought some of them to town to stage a protest in front of city hall. We're hoping to get some sort of action, maybe a revival scheme to offset the damage that's been done."

"OK," said Alex. "Well, good luck with that." Even though he was decidedly on the side of the protest, as the sheriff he really wasn't supposed to be overtly political. He represented the voters of the entire county, not just a small set of wealthy liberals in the town itself. Nothing against them; it was just that Alex had to stay out of these kind of citizen actions if he wanted to keep the peace, county-wide, and of course, keep being elected.

As the crowd began to disperse into pockets and organize their plan, whatever that was, Kathleen walked over to them.

"Hi, Alex! I see you've met Fred. Did you read what he wrote in the paper?"

Alex stammered. "Uh... what paper is that?"

"The Oregonian."

"Uh, no, I haven't looked at that yet."

"Well, it's a beautiful piece about Western civilization and saving small town America. Brought me to tears. Anyway, we're headed up to city hall to make our case."

"That's great, Kathleen," said Alex, putting his free hand on his left hip. "I'm glad to see you're being proactive about your business." He noted that she was positively beaming, her pearly white teeth showing.

"Yeah, well, a wise person told me I've got to go to the mattresses. You know what that means, right?"

"Sure," nodded Alex, amused. "From The Godfather."

"What is it with you men and The Godfather?" She giggled. "Anyway, that's what we're doing. Going to the mattresses. Fighting it head on."

"Bravo!" Fred Novotny exclaimed. "Fight to the death, Kathy! We've got to save White Pine Bay. Our souls depend on it."

Alex walked away and back to the station, laughing internally about the absurdity of her friend Fred. The melodrama! Save the bookstore around the corner and save your soul!

Back at the station, he delved back into his mountains of paperwork, interrupted only by the buzzing of his iPhone on the desk.

NORMA.

"Hey," he answered, the corner of his mouth turning up in a smile. "Everything ok?"

"No, I'm at the town hall meeting to vote on the proposal for the kindergarten, which will directly impact our daughter next year. I'm surprised you're not here."

"Norma, I'm working."

"OK, but you can't get away for thirty minutes to learn about a proposal that will lay the foundation for her educational opportunities in the future?"

Alex sighed. "Norma, I really don't have time. Can you give me a summary later?"

"Well, I noticed you had time to visit Kathleen Novak's rally," Norma snapped.

"What, were you following me?"

"No, I wasn't following you. I live in this town. I was driving by on my way to city hall. I didn't realize your girlfriend had plans to take over the meeting."

"She is not my girlfriend! I don't have a girlfriend!" He wanted to add, 'I'm married,' but stopped himself. He just hoped he had been emphatic enough about not having a girlfriend because he definitely did not want Norma thinking he had a girlfriend.

"Coulda fooled me."

"Norma! What has gotten into you?" He almost laughed out loud, but, with Norma acting this way, he knew better and restrained himself.

"Whatever, Alex, I gotta go. Your girlfriend and her proletariat have arrived to the meeting. Lord, she's still acting like the bypass isn't a done thing."

Norma hung up, much to Alex's relief. He loved her, but she was driving him crazy. Between Maybethistime saying she fantasized about falling in love with him (as a rich banker) and Norma thinking Kathleen Novak was his girlfriend, he felt like he was losing his mind. He was growing desperate to solve the mystery of Maybethistime. So much like Norma... the similarities too many... It had to be her, but it couldn't be. He would die if it was her. He would die if it wasn't her.

What if it's Kathleen?

No, Kathleen doesn't have a daughter. She's not married, has never been married, and doesn't have any children.

God, I hope it's not Miranda Winckler.

Miranda Winckler was another one of White Pine Bay's born and bred finest. She ran the most successful catering business in town, even holding the prize of a contract with the Arcanum Club. Unfortunately, she absolutely was nowhere near being Alex's type, and yes, Alex had a type. And Alex was pretty sure she was married. Or divorced. Or widowed. Or something. If there was a course on Local Gossip About Local Cat Ladies, Alex had the lowest grade.

Rebecca Hamilton?

Alex groaned. God, I'll shoot myself if it's her.

* * *

"The bypass is here to stay, lamo, get over it and deal with it!" Norma stood at one of the podiums at the town hall meeting.

Kathleen, at the other, scoffed. "Norma Bates, oh Norma Bates! 'Deal with it,' she says! That's rich coming from you!"

"What the hell does that mean?"

Kathleen laughed. "It means, you don't exactly have a reputation for going with the flow. What did you say to Councilman Berman? The exact words? Oh right! 'You're a d-i-c-k!'"

Norma cackled. "D I C K? What the hell? You're so prim and proper, you can't say the word dick?"

Just as Norma was saying those words, Alex slipped into the room, unnoticed, at the back. He shook his head, trying very hard to suppress his laughter. Jesus, Norma.

"And besides," continued Norma, "that was like what, five, six years ago? I've got news for you, sweetie. Lee Berman is dead and the bypass is built. We lost the fight to stop it. You can go on fighting a fight that's already done. Or you can get your head out of your ass and deal with the here and now. Take my motel, for instance. There's this thing called the internet and social media, and also word of mouth. Bypass be damned, I don't care what road people want to take. If they aren't following us on twitter, they're probably too old to drive anyway!"

Kathleen pursed her lips. "Well, we all know what kind of things go on at the Bates Motel, but since this is a family-friendly meeting, I won't elaborate."

Norma's hands became fists, but thankfully, she kept them on her hips and only used her eyes to throw daggers at Kathleen.

"And as for following you on Twitter," continued Kathleen, "I think there are better things to teach the young of White Pine Bay. Reading, for example. Reading books that have more than 140 characters!"

"Ha!" Norma derided. "Shows how much you know. Twitter expanded its character limit to 280 last year!"

A random in the seats stood up and called out to Norma. "Mrs. Bates?!"

Norma turned to look at the young, upper adolescent man. "Yes?"

The young man became extremely nervous as all eyes in the room watched him expectantly. "Well... I just... I just wondered if you might consider joining some of the... alternative social media platforms. You know, the ones that aren't censoring conservatives?"

Norma looked at him like he had three heads. "What the heck are you talking about? Censoring conservatives? I run a motel. I'm not your senator!"

Councilman Warwick, who was chair for today's meeting and president of the town council, rapped his gavel on the bench. "Can we please get back to the topic at hand? Charming as Mrs. Bates and Miss Novak are, and as entertained as I certainly am by the former's colorful comebacks-" (he glared at Norma) -"I believe the topic at hand is whether to expand the kindergarten to an all-day curriculum."

Kathleen cleared her throat. "With all due respect, Councilman Warwick, there are many of us in the chamber today who would like to discuss a proposal to build a business loop."

At this point, the people in the seats grew bored and started standing up, yawning, stretching, and moving to the exit. Norma was already at the exit when Alex grabbed her arm and fell into step with her outside. "Norma, what the hell?"

Norma didn't stop walking, but she looked at Alex in surprise, and feeling a tad hurt. "What do you mean, what the hell? I was defending my business."

"No, I mean, you calling her my girlfriend."

They were on the steps in front of city hall when Norma finally stopped and met his gaze. (Did either of them realize that it was on these very steps where he'd kissed her on the cheek just after marrying her and telling her he would be moving into her house after work that night?) She huffed, smiled, and rolled her eyes. "I don't know. You defending her all the time. Taking her side."

"Her side? I didn't know there was a side to take. Are you guys at war?"

"No..."

"Because if you are, I'm on your side."

"You are?"

"Yeah. You're the mother of my child. You're family."

Norma hoped she was past the age of blushing, but feared she wasn't. "Thanks, Alex."


	3. Chapter 3

**"Funny how I feel more myself with you than anybody else I ever knew." - Carole King**

* * *

Alex sat down at his desk to make a list.

Maybethistime, known facts

1-Lives on the outskirts of a small town

2-Owns a business right next to residence (caterer? Bookstore? Motel? !)

3-Uses twitter &c to revive business struggling due to infrastructural challenges

4-Has daughter Briana's age

5-Is a "foodie" (loves cooking)

6-Referenced "The Shop Around the Corner" (old movie starring Jimmy Stewart)

7-Is estranged from husband

NB, known facts

1-Lives just over the bridge outside WPB

2-Owns motel in front of residence

3-Ditto #3, see above

4-Ditto #4, see above (her daughter is Briana)

5-Ditto #5 (and she's an excellent cook, which doesn't necessarily apply above)

6-Loves old movies

7-Ditto #7 (I know because I'm that husband)

Facts about NB to cross check with M

1-Sings and plays piano

2-Drives 1970 Mercedes

3-Made her own clothes in high school

4-Realized dream of preserving fruit, planting fruit trees

5-Favorite flowers: lupines & lilies

* * *

"Deputy Jeffcoat, are you still on patrol?"

"No, Sheriff. In the building."

"Come by my office asap please."

Five minutes after that radio exchange, Deputy Jeffcoat breezed into Alex's office.

"Sheriff? What's up?"

"Close the door. Have a seat."

Door closed.

"You're not in trouble. Relax, deputy. I need your help."

* * *

Alex met Maybethistime via Instant Message again that night. It wasn't easy finding ways to cross check the five facts about Norma without seeming to interrogate her or just coming off as a dork. Besides, there were so many things Alex knew about Norma, but these five struck him as things he might be able to learn about any casual online acquaintance.

XR: What kind of car do you drive?

M: A very old one. You?

XR: Company car. SUV.

They were both so stubborn, refusing to disclose identifying personal details. Bummer, thought Alex. An old car didn't necessarily mean a vintage one. M could be driving a 2000s Honda Civic or a vintage Benz and still say it was an old car in both cases. Strike one.

XR: Favorite flower?

M: Daisies. Such friendly flowers!

Disappointed Alex! Strike two.

XR: Do you play an instrument?

M: The piano a little. I'm not very good.

Confused Alex! Norma always said she wasn't a very good player, but Alex knew firsthand that she was amazing. "I'm not very good" could be modesty, be it false modesty or genuine self-deprecation. Strike three.

M: It's my turn to ask you some stuff, Romeo.

XR: Haha. Ask away.

M: Persimmons or peaches?

XR: Peaches.

M: Liza Minelli or Nancy Sinatra?

XR: I don't know! Liza I guess. My daughter loves Dorothy and Todo! :)

M: Well, that was her mother, Judy Garland, but anyway, Liza is the reason behind my name "maybe this time," one of my favorite songs. I keep wondering about Xelaromeo? Is it a Shakespeare reference? Is it your name spelled backwards? No! You would never do something that prosaic!

XR: Xela is Alex spelled backwards, but the Romeo part is obviously Shakespeare.

M: Favorite Shakespeare play?

XR: Isn't it obvious?

M: LOL! R & J is so depressing though! You like tragic endings?

XR: It's tragic love. They ended their lives together because alive they could never be together.

M: I like happy stories! Like Dorothy gets to go home and the lion finds courage. Do you really like Joni Mitchell?

XR: What makes you ask that?

M: That one time you had that song in your head. River by Joni Mitchell?

XR: My mom liked her a lot.

M: Joni Mitchell baffles me.

XR: Join the club.

M: "It's cloud delusions I recall, I really don't know clouds at all." What does that mean? Is she a pilot? Is she taking flying lessons? It must be a metaphor for something, but I don't know what it is.* (see note)

XR: Well, it's about the illusion of the clouds, right? Clouds are just vapor, aren't they? Yet they're always metaphoric for something, like heaven or being on Cloud 9.

M: Oh my god, that is so deep!

XR: Thanks. Even if you are making fun of me, I'll assume it's a compliment. :)

M: I'm totally complimenting you! You've solved my confusion about that song!

XR: Glad I could help.

M: They're doing a Joni Mitchell tribute on the 29th in Portland.

XR: Portland Maine? (Alex knew what tribute concert she was talking about, so he knew damn well which Portland she meant. But this was a rare opportunity to fish for details!)

M: Oregon.

FLY BALL!

XR: Sounds fun. Maybe we should meet up there.

M: Where, the Joni concert?

XR: Yeah. It could be fun.

M: You keep trying to meet me, Alex!

XR: (heart beating from her calling him Alex for the first time) Well?

M: OK, but something simple like a coffee shop. Joni is a bit intense for a first meeting.

XR: ! SERIOUSLY? !

M: Yes. Let's meet.

XR: When? Where?

* * *

******NOTE** & POSTSCRIPT: Although the lyric is "cloud illusions," in the movie YGM Tom Hanks does actually say "cloud delusions." Whether this was an ad lib or an intentional misquote in the script, I don't know. For some reason, I've always preferred "cloud delusions" but that's probably just me. I love how Tom Hanks teases Meg Ryan in that moment. You could say it's very like Alex teasing Norma, or vice versa.

Alex already strongly suspects it's Norma he's talking to. He's protecting himself a little by holding out some hope it's not Norma. He hopes it is, he hopes it isn't. Part of him thinks it will be better if she's not Norma, but just like some long lost twin Norma never knew she had, but for some reason had like a parallel existence to Norma's existence. Like a mirror image: It's you but it's not.


	4. Chapter 4

_Why am I doing this? Why am I even compelled to meet this woman? _

_This woman? You mean Norma, Alex? _

_Yes, dummy. I mean Norma._

_But you're not sure it's Norma. Are you?_

_I'm pretty sure you're an asshole. _

_I'm pretty sure you're calling yourself an asshole. _

Alex was literally having a dialogue in his head while he waited for "Maybethistime" at the Cafe Ephron. The Cafe Ephron was in a town about halfway between Portland and White Pine Bay. It was one of those quaint little bed-and-breakfast towns that tries to capture the hipster quality of the city but still have that suburban, even ruralist, there's-the-general-store-one-block-from-the-old-courthouse feel to it. Smaller than Portland, but somehow more cosmopolitan than White Pine Bay, with its late-night "cafe Ephron" that was really a cafe, a restaurant, a gift-store, a florist and a bakery all rolled into one establishment. The hub of White Pine Bay was the boat docks; the hub of this town was the weekly all-organic farmer's market in the town square.

There was a tale spinning in Alex's head, heads and tails. Heads up, Norma. Tail up, not Norma.

_I swear to god if it's Rebecca Hamilton I will blow my brains out._

_It's not Rebecca, dumbass. Rebecca doesn't check any of the bullets on the multitude of lists that you've been making. _

_Kathleen?_

_Nope. The only bullets that apply to her are owning a business and living outside the town. Face it, buddy, you're about to come face to face with Norma. Briana's mother. The love of your life. _

_The love of my life who hates me._

_She doesn't hate you. You saw the relief on her face when you told her Kathleen isn't your girlfriend, and when you told her that if she is at war with Kathleen, you're solidly Team Norma. She was blushing._

_She wasn't blushing. Norma doesn't blush._

_She was blushing. _

_Since when does Norma favor daisies? _

_I don't know but you told her you'd have a vase of daisies and a Joni Mitchell CD on the table. That's how she's going to know that you're Xelaromeo._

_God, I swear the waiter thinks I'm gay._

_The waiter is gay too, buddy. He keeps checking you out. _

_He's not checking me out. He can't be 30 years old._

_He's checking you out. _

_I don't care. As long as Norma doesn't run out of here when she sees me, I don't care about anything else. _

_How can she not already know it's you, Alex? You even told her your name is Alex. And you have a daughter Briana's age. _

_My daughter is Briana, asshole. _

_Wait a minute. If Norma and I are both halfway to Portland right now, who is watching Briana?_

_Speak of the monkey, she's on your Caller ID right now. _

"Briana, what are you doing awake?"

"Mommy said I could wait up for her. Rania and I are watching Young Sheldon."

"Where is Mommy?" (curious what Norma would tell others)

"She's meeting that guy she met online."

_*Silence*_

"Daddy?"

*Choking on ice water*

"Daddy? You ok?"

"Yeah, sweetie. I'm ok. Just, some water went down the wrong way. What did you say about Mommy?"

"She's meeting the mystery man she met online."

_Oh god what am I doing?_

_It is her. _

_Oh shit, it is her!_

_Oh my god, it is her!_

_Of course it's her. You knew that. Why are you freaking out now?_

_Because now I know know. And Briana knows. She told Briana! Why would she tell Briana? That's a terrible example to give Briana. Now Briana thinks it's ok to meet up with guys you meet online? What the hell was Norma thinking, telling Briana? Why would she do that? She's crazy! Jesus Norma! _

"Daddy, I'm kidding!" Briana was laughing. "I'm kidding, Daddy! It was a joke. You thought I was serious?"

_*Silence*_

Briana laughed harder. "Daddy! She went to the store to buy eggs so we can have French toast in the morning!"

Alex had unshed tears in his eyes, he felt so many different emotions right now. Anger? Relief? Disappointment? Embarrassment? All of the above and more!

"Briana…" Alex felt very far from being able to laugh at his daughter's joke. It had scared him too much.

"Daddy? Why aren't you laughing?"

"Because, monkey, what you said, I just want you to know that it's a bad idea to ever do something like that. You know it's dangerous to talk to strangers, right? People you're mom and I don't know about, you're not supposed to talk to them, and you definitely should never meet them anywhere."

"I know that, Daddy."

"Good because it is very important, Briana. It's no laughing matter."

"I'm sorry, Daddy. I heard Rania talking to Mom about someone she met on the internet. I thought it would be funny."

"Well, Rania is an adult and she can make her own choices, but that doesn't mean they are good choices. We have to be very careful about who we let into our lives. Always be skeptical of strangers."

"What does that mean"

"It means don't just believe them. Don't take it for granted that they are truthful. A lot of strangers will try to trick you. They may say they know me or Mommy or that I or Mommy asked them to pick you up. But, Briana, your mommy and I will never talk to you through a stranger. If we send you a message it will be through someone we know, not a stranger. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, Daddy."

* * *

Norma had told Briana that she needed to run a few errands before bedtime. Rania was working the night shift in the office of the motel, so all that had to be done was to have Rania, who knew the truth, let Briana veg out in the back office and watch mindless TV. That's just what Briana did too. They made popcorn, Norma allowing her the sparing use of butter, though she wished Briana would use paprika as she always did. Norma made it to the cafe without incident. She remained in the parked car, a block from the cafe, talking on the bluetooth to her daughter-in-law, Emma.

"I can't do this, Emma."

"What are you talking about? Of course you can! Norma Bates isn't afraid of some guy she met on twitter!"

"Norma Bates is absolutely afraid of some guy she met on twitter! Especially one that..." She almost added, 'really seems like Alex,' but she had not told Emma details like the striking similarities between them. "You absolutely overestimate Norma Bates, Em."

"I don't think so. Look at it this way, Norma. You're taking the relationship to the next level. That's what you have to do. You reach a certain point where you either end it or you go to the next level."

Norma sighed. "Right. Well, I guess...since I did come all this way. I might as well, at least, go to the door and see if I see him. Right? He's going to have a vase of daisies and a Joni Mitchell CD. Not that I'll be able to see the CD from the door, but I'll be able to see the daisies."

"Yeah, you can, at the very least, determine if you're dealing with a Keanu Reeves or, like, Jason Alexander."

_Or Alex Romero,_ thought Norma_, half hopeful and half petrified by the idea._

"Don't hang up, Emma. Stay on the phone with me. In fact, call me back, but FaceTime it."

It was dark out and even before she got very close she could tell the cafe was not very busy. The lights inside looked very soft and it did seem like there were only about five occupied tables. But Norma did not stare at the windows for more than a couple seconds, being afraid that she might make eye contact with any of the customers. She had Emma on FaceTime as she walked up the steps to the door. She held the phone up and had the screen flipped so that Emma could see inside. Emma struggled to see; it wasn't easy, given the soft lighting and occasional blocking of customers by the wait staff.

"Oh I see a very good looking guy, wow he is a cutie."

Norma became impatient. "Do you see daisies?"

"No, no flowers. Oh wait a minute, yeah, yeah, I see the flowers."

"Well?"

"I can't see the guy. The waiter is blocking him."

Norma rolled her eyes.

"Oh," said Emma, as if discovering something. She sounded tremulous.

"What? What is it?"

"Um, yeah. He's... He is very attractive."

"Of course he is! He had to be! He had to be!"

"Norma?"

"What?"

"He looks like... That is, he almost has the coloring of... Sheriff Romero."

The bottom dropped out of Norma's stomach. It felt like her stomach just disappeared. "Alex?" She finally got the courage to look into the restaurant herself and, sure enough, there he was, sitting at a table with a vase of daisies. She gulped.

"Norma?" Emma's voice came from the phone. "What are you gonna do?"

Norma turned from the door and bent her steps back toward her car.

"Norma?"

"Emma, I'll call you back."

"What are you gonna do, Norma?"

"Nothing, Emma. I'm not going to do anything."

"What, you're just gonna leave him there, to wait all night?"

"Yes, Emma, that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I'll call you tomorrow. Don't tell anyone about this. Not even Dylan."

* * *

Norma got into her car, but could not bring herself to turn on the engine. She just sat there for maybe twenty minutes, thinking about Alex in that restaurant. Finally, she decided to call him. He answered on the third ring.

"Norma? What's wrong?"

Norma forced a weak laugh. "Why do you always answer the phone like that?"

"Like what?"

"'Norma, what's wrong'? Like when I call you, something is always wrong."

"Well, it usually is." He sounded a little amused, but also a little sad. And was it her imagination, or did he sound kind of nervous? "Is something wrong?"

"Yes."

"What? Is Briana all right?"

Norma's heart fluttered at the anxiety for his daughter that was so evident in his tone. Every time she saw, heard, felt his love for their daughter, she lost another piece of her heart to that man.

"Briana's fine. She's great, in fact." Norma laughed a kind of tearful laugh, an outlet for all of the anxiety and excitement bubbling inside her right now. Alex was Xelaromeo! She had thought it was him, had hoped it was him, had wondered if it was him, had wished it so, had wished it not so, had been terrified that it was so, and now here it was, confirmed, absolutely plain! Alex Romero was estranged from a wife he wanted back. As Xelaromeo, he had said as much.

"Great huh?" Alex said, and Norma swore she heard the smile on his face.

"Yeah, she's hanging out with Rania in the motel office, eating popcorn and watching mindless TV. A rare treat in the Bates household!"

"Wow! What does Norma's daughter have to do to be rewarded so generously? And did you let her put butter on that popcorn?"

Norma missed this. Their teasing. "Yes, butter is a necessary evil. You try convincing a four-year-old to like paprika as much as butter."

"It would never enter my head," Alex confessed honestly. "What's going on, Norma?"

"Going on? Does something have to be going on for me to call you?"

"No... but..."

"I mean, what if I just wanted to talk?"

"Well, do you? Wanna talk?"

"Sure. I mean, we used to talk all the time."

"We did. Used to talk. All the time. Like a lot of things we. Used to do. All the time."

"Right, so? Why can't we do that now? Talk. Unless you're busy. I mean. Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Busy?"

Alex exhaled. "No. Not really. I am waiting for someone."

"Oh."

"Yeah, I was supposed to meet someone at this coffee shop. I don't think they're gonna show up, though."

"Oh... Well... I...I guess we can talk while you wait?"

"Sure, Norma. Sure."

There was such a long silence after this affirmative from Alex that he began to suspect they had been disconnected.

"Norma?"

"Yes?"

"Oh. I'm just checking that you're still there."

"Yeah, I'm still here." She swallowed before continuing. "That thing you said, you know, outside city hall, about being family. Did you mean that?"

"Of course."

"Because Briana is always asking me why we don't live together and I hate myself."

"Wait," Alex interrupted, almost panicking. "You hate yourself? Why would you hate yourself?"

"Because I can't give her a family. The one she deserves. Because I never had that and I don't know how to do that. I couldn't do it with my previous husbands, they who shall not be named because they were assholes. You're not like them. You're different. But I still can't...because I don't know how. Or maybe I do know how and I just won't because I'm so afraid that I'm going to do something to screw it up. And I don't want to screw it up with you. Because you don't deserve that. Briana doesn't deserve that. But Briana doesn't deserve just having me either. Having me and you in different houses and shuttling back and forth just because her mom is a jerk."

"Ok, I have to stop you there, Norma. You're abusing someone I care about. Where is this coming from, this self-hatred?"

"It's coming from a place that I've kept hidden because I'm so ashamed of the way I've behaved to you. And tonight..." The hot tears that had awhile ago welled in her eyes began rolling down her cheeks. "Tonight was the last straw. I was about to drive away and just leave you there and I thought, my god, after everything, after treating you like shit with the exception of like two weeks when we were in the bubble..."

"Norma? What are you saying? Where are you?"

"I'm outside, Alex. I'm in my car. I'm like a block away from the cafe."

"You are?"

"Yeah. I couldn't do it. I couldn't face you. I saw it was you and I was gonna leave. I'm so sorry. For everything."

He didn't say anything because he was busy walking. He had grabbed his leather jacket one-handed and practically ran out of the cafe, completely forgetting about the flowers and the CD. Outside, he looked both ways, straining to spot his favorite Mercedes. But it was too dark to see one block down either way.

"Norma, which way did you turn outside the cafe?"

"Left."

"I'm coming. Don't go anywhere. Please. I need to see you."

"I'm one block down, Alex. You can't miss my car. It's pretty unique."

"Yes, it is, just like the driver."

A huge grin overtook his face as soon as he spotted her car. He picked up his pace, already fast, and when he came to the driver's side, they stared at each other through the window. Intense is the only way to describe the energy between them in that moment. Intense like a pressure cooker. She opened the door slowly, never taking her eyes from his face, and he grabbed hold of her, pinned her against the car, and kissed her like his life depended on it. Like her lips were the only thing that would keep him alive. His hands, her waist. Her hands, his neck, his hair. The only two beings in the world. Nothing else mattered. No one else existed.


	5. Chapter 5

At some point they had to come up for air. After years of no physical contact, they were starving for each other, but nothing can defeat biological imperative. The lover must breathe too. As they restrained themselves from kissing in order to catch their breathe, they started laughing. Laughing at the absurdity of the whole situation, perhaps.

"I wanted it to be you," confessed Norma.

"You did?"

"I wanted it to be you so badly."

Alex, grinning stupidly, moved his head to one side while tilting Norma's head with his hands. He hesitated, still grinning like a kid in a candy store. He moved their heads to the other side. He gently stroked her face with his thumbs. He wanted to resume kissing her, but her tears made him hesitate. He had to deal with that first.

"Norma... Don't cry."

"It happened. It finally happened."

"What happened?"

"You."

He just stared at her curiously, waiting for more.

"You happened. You loved me."

"I love you," he corrected. "Present tense, Norma."

"You've always loved me."

"I have."

"Even when I treated you like shit."

He chuckled. "Even when you were a pain in the ass."

"When I told you were arrogant and presumptuous."

He couldn't stop smiling. "You were charming."

Norma laughed, but shook her head in disagreement. "I was not charming. I was horrible."

"Well, you looked charming."

"I was horrible, Alex. I was horrible to you. You were trying to protect me. You cared about me and I was horrible."

"Horribly charming," he said, refusing to back down or to let her wallow in her regrets.

She bit her lower lip. "Shut up and kiss me."

"I'd love to, and I will, with lots of pleasure and passion, but first, let's go to dinner. I'm starving. I didn't eat anything while waiting for you because I was too nervous. But now I could eat a whole menu."

* * *

"Jesus, Alex!" Norma marveled at all the plates the waiter placed on their table. Alex had ordered four appetizers (for both of them) and now the waiter delivered his three entrees and her one entree and simple chef salad.

"I told you I was hungry!"

"Hungry? That's an understatement, Alex. Three pasta dishes and a steak, medium rare. That's beyond hungry!"

"Well, it's for you too. Unless you're actually going to be filled up by that measly chef salad and chicken pot pie."

Norma laughed at his craziness. "Yes, I think I'll be satisfied."

"Yes, you will be….satisfied, " he said suggestively.

Their eyes locked for several seconds before he shifted focus. "Well, I intend to take some home for Brianaa, so... Why did you order chicken pot pie? You make it every week for you and Brianaa."

"How do you know that?"

"She tells me everything," he said with a wink.

"Oh really?"

"Yes. I know your entire weekly culinary schedule. Chicken pot pie on Mondays, because it starts the week off with lots of protein and fiber; turkey pot pie on Sundays, because the tryptophan makes it easier to get Brianaa to bed on a school night."

"And what's the menu at your house? Lean Cuisine Mondays? Marie Callender Tuesdays? Healthy Choice Thursdays?"

Alex rolled his eyes. "I'll have you know, Mrs. Romero, frozen dinners have come a long way. The multitude of options alone, coupled with advances in freezer technology, means that hardworking people like myself, who at the end of a twelve hour shift, patrolling the streets and keeping people like you safe, lack the energy to produce home cooked meals, can, for a mere three dollars, tops, enjoy a balanced, kosher meal."

She smiled at him in a way that she knew would drive him crazy. Sweet, but no-bullshit-accepting. She knew very well that he hated his Marie Callender/Lean Cuisine dependency, that even though those dinners satisfy the taste buds, they don't give the satisfaction of food prepared with love and appreciation and absolute devotion to those who would savor its delights. Prepared with ingredients taken from the only part of the grocery store worth visiting, that lovely place called the produce department.

Alex smiled indulgently at the woman who was still his wife, who would always be his wife. He placed his hands on hers and savored the game of playing with her fingers. "Maybe this time," he found himself saying as he looked into her eyes.

"All the odds are in our favor," she said, immediately picking up on his train of thought.

"Everybody loves a winner," he said.

"Not a loser anymore, like the last time and the time before. Lady Peaceful, Lady Happy. That's what I long to be."

Alex laughed, not at her, but at their silliness. "We're reciting the lyrics out of order."

"That's ok," she said. "It's still the perfect song for us."

"It is."

"Much better than Romeo and Juliet, speaking of losers!"

"Hey!" Alex mocked being offended, but he knew she was right. Norma was the sun that never stopped shining even in the worst storms, and since meeting her, he gradually became an optimist too. They never gave up on each other.

* * *

NORMA had to go home to Briana. There was no question of Alex going home with her until they could figure out the best way to explain to their little girl how different things would be going forward. How to explain to her that the parents she never saw sharing a house now wanted to share a house? How to explain to her that her parents, always raising her 'together but separately' now wanted to make them all a real family? This required some deep thought. Until Alex and Norma had a better understanding of the situation themselves, they could hardly explain it satisfactorily to their little girl.

Norma watched Briana feed her fish and smiled at how much she resembled her father. The little girl was already a miniature of her stoic father. Extremely responsible, and serious beyond her years, she took her responsibility like the little woman that she was. Her father had shown her exactly how to feed Joe and Briana was already an expert. She knew exactly how much food to pour into the expensive tank Alex had bought. "All done," she said clapping her hands together. "What are we reading tonight, Mommy?"

"Whatever you want, honey."

"You pick, Mommy. We finished The Giving Tree last night. Dad reads me the caterpillar book."

"Well, he bought you other books. Why don't you pick one of them?" Norma sat next to Briana as the latter climbed into bed. Norma combed through the girl's mousy brown bangs with her fingers.

The little girl yawned. "Is it ok if we skip reading time tonight?"

She smiled at her considerate nature. It never ceased to amaze her how much Briana considered the feelings of others. Dylan at four years old never paid attention to her feelings. He just wanted to play and for Dylan that meant, generally, tearing things apart. Dylan the destroyer. Norman was always so introverted, so sensitive, but never really confident like Briana. Norma was convinced that her third child was really a very old soul trapped in a tiny kid's body. Briana caught on to things so quickly. She could read a little bit, certainly much more than any of her preschool classmates. She knew the alphabet song by heart, could write her full name, and her parents' names (the most precious names, that is: Mommy and Daddy), and was teaching herself, with her parents' help of course, to count to 100. Norma was sure Briana would be a scientist or mathematician when she grew up. Not that it mattered. Obviously, she hoped Briana would never become a sheriff like her dad, but even if she did, of course she would love her little girl the same always; because it didn't matter what profession Briana went into, as long as it was from Briana's heart. Anything she did, she would do extremely well. Norma knew that to the core.

"Of course it's ok," she said in answer to the girl's question. "But tomorrow night, you pick something nice for us to read, ok?"

"OK," Briana said smiling. Norma kissed her on the forehead, then both cheeks, they exchanged I love you's, and Norma turned to leave. As she turned off the light, she turned back to smile at her baby once again and found her looking back at her.

"Don't close it all the way, ok?"

"Of course not," Norma said. "I'll leave a crack."

Briana liked for there to be a crack in the door that connected their bedrooms. She didn't mind sleeping in the dark; though it scared her a little, she'd recently stopped using the night light Norma had bought a long time ago because she wanted to be brave like both of her parents. She just wanted to know and be able to hear that her mother was safe and sound nearby.

Norma got ready for bed and was about to turn off her bedside lamp when her phone lit up. It was a phone call from Alex. She declined it, but texted him right away.

B IS ASLEEP. I'LL CALL YOU IN THE MORNING AFTER I TAKE HER TO HER PLAYDATE.

WE CAN STILL TEXT?

SURE

GOOD BECAUSE I NEED TO TELL YOU THAT I THINK U R BEAUTIFUL

Norma stifled the giggle that she desperately wanted to release.

U R TEXTING LIKE A TEENAGE GIRL

I FEEL LIKE ONE

YOU FEEL LIKE A TEENAGE GIRL, ALEX?

YEP. I'M LIKE TOTALLY IN LOVE OK?

U R GONNA MAKE ME LOL AND WAKE UP OUR DAUGHTER!

I MISS YOU

I MISS YOU TOO

I'M NOT EVEN MAD THAT YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME WITH ANOTHER GUY FOR YEARS

HEY! WE WERE SEPARATED! AND YOU WERE CHEATING TOO!

I THINK I ALWAYS KNEW IT WAS YOU

I WANTED IT TO BE YOU BUT

BUT?

I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE. TALKING TO AN UNKNOWN WOMAN ON THE INTERNET? SUCH AN UN-ALEX THING TO DO!

I THINK YOU'LL FIND I'M FULL OF SURPRISES BABY

WHO DID YOU TALK TO ABOUT ME?

?

YOU SAID IN ONE OF YOUR EMAILS THAT YOU TALKED TO ONE OF YOUR COLLEAGUES ABOUT ME. I JUST WONDERED WHO.

JEFFCOAT

OH HE'S NICE. I'M GLAD IT WAS HIM AND NOT REGINA.

REGINA IS NICE TOO

NOT REALLY. I SWEAR SHE ALWAYS ROLLS HER EYES WHEN I WALK INTO THE STATION.

REGINA ROLLS HER EYES AT EVERYONE. BUT DON'T WORRY. I DON'T TALK TO HER ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE.

YOU USED TO NEVER TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE.

YEAH WELL I NEEDED TO TELL SOMEONE. IT WAS DRIVING ME CRAZY AND JEFFCOAT DOESN'T GOSSIP (UNLIKE MOST PPL AT THE STATION)

UNLIKE MOST "PPL" ANYWHERE

YOU'RE MAKING FUN OF ME?

YES!

YOU'RE SO MEAN

YOU LIKE IT THOUGH

I DO. DOESN'T MEAN I WON'T GET YOU BACK.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? ARREST ME?

... ...

Norma waited impatiently for his response. It kept showing that he was typing, and then the dots would disappear, as if he changed his mind.

ALEX?

NORMA?

ARE YOU GOING TO ARREST ME?

IT'S VERY TEMPTING

WELL WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

PROBABLE CAUSE PLUS I DOUBT BRIANA WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF I ARRESTED HER MOTHER

SHE WOULD BE ON MY SIDE

SHE ALWAYS IS

THAT'S NOT TRUE. EVERY TIME SHE COMES BACK FROM HER WEEKENDS AT YOUR PLACE I DON'T HEAR THE END OF "I EAT PIZZA AT DADDY'S" AND "DADDY LETS ME STAY UP UNTIL 930"

WELL ALL WEEKEND WHEN SHE'S WITH ME ALL I HEAR IS "MAMA NEVER LOSES THINGS, SHE ALWAYS KNOWS WHERE THINGS ARE"

BECAUSE I PUT THINGS BACK WHERE I GOT THEM. EVERYTHING HAS A PLACE, ALEX.

YOU SEE WHY I NEED TO LIVE WITH MY WIFE NOW?

I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAT

WHAT? US LIVING TOGETHER?

NO NO US LIVING TOGETHER IN THIS HOUSE

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I WANT TO TALK IT OUT IN PERSON

Her phone buzzed. Alex was calling her now.

"Alex!" She whispered frantically into the phone. "Briana is in the next room, sleeping!"

"I know but, Norma, you have to explain this to me. Don't leave me hanging. I won't get any sleep myself."

Norma had to swallow down a wave of panic. She wished she had not mentioned it. Not tonight. She really needed to say some things in person because she needed his strength to help her.

"Norma?"

"Alex, you know Briana has enhanced hearing powers like Superman."

"Well, take the phone downstairs."

"She'll hear that and she doesn't like it when I'm not in the next room."

"Well, Norma, you better do something or else I'm coming over there."

"OK fine," she hissed. She crept out of the room as quietly as she could and prayed to the gods that her daughter was in a deep state of REM sleep. Unfortunately, this house was old as Hell itself and every step she took, no matter how deliberate and soft, made the floorboards creak. Somehow, no doubt by divine intervention, she got downstairs without complaint from the child she hoped was dreaming about her favorite things upstairs.

Down here, in the living room, it was possible to speak in a normal voice, though she kept it low and quiet anyway.

"I don't want to live in this house anymore," she said quickly, just to get it out there and brace herself for his immediate reaction. She sat in the armchair by the window, through which the light from the lamp on the stairs poured into the otherwise dark room.

"Oh."

This was why she wanted to have the conversation in person, not on the phone: Because she was desperate to see his non-verbal reactions. His "Oh" was clearly one of surprise, and confusion, but other than that, it was impossible to know.

She wanted to tell him why, as Briana had been telling him apparently, she had been clearing out the basement once a week. But it was too hard. Definitely too hard to say on the phone, with him so far away, unable to calm her down with his simple touch. Instead she decided to give him a highly abbreviated version of why she wanted to move on from this tainted house.

"So many bad things have happened here and I can't look at anything without remembering something about-"

"Norman," he finished for her.

"Yes." A single tear slowly rolled down her cheek. She sniffed, hoping that would stop the flow of more tears.

"I want to give Briana something better. I don't want her to know about the awful things."

"It's a small town, Norma."

"I know, Alex, but she's too young and I want to protect her for as long as I can. And raising her here isn't necessary, not when we have your house to live in. Your house is as much of a home to her as mine and it doesn't have the bad things. The bad things didn't happen there."

"A very nutty lady broke in one time. Looking for a stupid flash drive."

She would have smiled if she didn't feel so melancholic. She loved him for trying, though.

"Of course we can live at my house, Norma, if that's what you truly want. I just assumed-"

"I know, Alex. I've been attached to this place. I don't think I wanted to forget the darkness. I wanted to stay in the darkness for a long time. It made me feel strong, somehow. I can't explain it."

"You can never forget it, Norma. Not entirely. Even living at my house, you won't be able to forget."

"I know that, Alex, and I don't even want to forget. I just don't want to live in it anymore. I don't have to make my little girl live in it. I raised my first two sons in hell."

"Norma-"

"No, Alex, don't. Don't stop me from admitting it. It's true. There was so much unnecessary pain. If I had been stronger-"

"I'm not going to sit here and listen to you blame yourself. You are the strongest and bravest person I know and, I'll tell you this, Norman had a mother who did everything for him. He could not have had a more loving mother or one more devoted to his well-being."

"He was broken. I couldn't fix him."

"You can't fix anyone if they don't want to be fixed, baby."

Norma was silent. She did not agree yet to Alex generously absolving her of any responsibility for Norman's tragic life and even the traumas experienced by Dylan which she might have prevented, somehow, if only. She could not agree yet. She must feel her own failures as a parent. It was fueling her resolve to do better for Briana. For now all she could do was tell Alex that she loved him, and... "I want to continue this. In person. Tomorrow. But I need to sleep, Alex."

"OK, sweetheart. I love you too."

"Thank you."

"Sweet dreams, baby. Dream about all that fruit you're gonna put in jars and the fruit trees we're gonna plant together behind my house."

Her heart skipped a beat and she felt her whole face smiling.

"Our house," he quickly amended.


	6. Chapter 6

Alex was growing impatient. Another day, no in fact another week without his girls living in the same house. It had been four weeks, to be precise. In three days, it would be Christmas eve and still, he lived alone, his girls without him in that creepy house. The ground itself reflected Alex's insecurities; its icy, mushy surface reminding him of the precariousness of his status quo with Norma. They were 'together again,' but not. 'Together again,' indeed, but it was a secret. Every night, they spoke on the phone, but only after Briana had fallen asleep during story time. Every night, one of them posed the question. Usually Alex. And every night, the other, usually Norma, reiterated how delicate they must tread, for Briana's sake.

"There's no easy way to tell her, Norma," Alex had said tonight. "Why not just rip off the bandaid?"

"Because it's nearly Christmas, Alex. Her fourth Christmas. It's not everyday that you have your fourth Christmas and I want hers to be special, not traumatic."

"You think the news that her parents love each other will be traumatic?" Alex utterly failed in keeping the bitterness out of his voice.

Norma snapped back: "Well, at the very least, it will be confusing, don't you think?"

Alex sighed. A shallow but long exasperated sigh. "Of course, Norma. I also think we're wasting precious time. We're not getting younger and neither is she. We belong together."

"I know." He heard genuine grief in her voice. "I know, baby."

Silence. She listened, expecting to hear the crickets outside his remote house. The lack of them confirmed her suspicion that he was actually in the dark, lonely confines of the Sheriff's office at the White Pine Bay County Sheriff's Department.

"Are you still at the office?"

"Yes, I am," he replied just after taking a sip from the Scotch he was nursing. "There's no reason to go home. It's not like anyone's waiting for me there."

"Alex," she pleaded.

"Norma, don't. It's fine, ok. I get it. I don't have to like it, though."

"Well, I don't expect that, you liking it. I hate it too. It sucks. Listen, I'll talk to her in the morning. I won't tell her everything, but... I'll try to get her used to the idea. Test the waters?"

"We have to start somewhere," he agreed stoically, forcing himself to sound way more hopeful than he felt.

"Good night, Alex. And... I love you."

"I love you too, and good night."

And that was that. Another disappointing chat, another end to a frustrating day. He leaned back in his chair and wondered how much more of this limbo he could endure. Weeks of sweet words, sly kisses taken at rare opportunities when no one could notice, whispered promises for the future. He hated to think so selfishly and in such a crass way, but the fact was that he was quite horny after four years of celibacy! He longed to share a bed with his wife again. And most of all, he longed to go to sleep and wake up in the same house as his family, to have breakfast and do all the wonderful little domestic pleasures with his wife and daughter. The waiting for it, seeing it quite clearly in his mind but unable to touch it, was tormenting him.

* * *

***THE MONDAY BEFORE Christmas Eve, A TUESDAY***

The Sheriff was 'off duty.' Put that in quotes. More accurately, 'out of uniform.' He was always on call. Public emergencies don't cease to happen just because it's holiday season. Truth be told, holiday season makes them even more likely. But this Monday, he was able to breathe a bit and enjoy some Briana time. Norma had come up with the idea to spend Christmas Eve and Day as a family. Briana loved the idea. They would do it at the old Bates house. Norma wanting the house to herself to get things ready on Monday, she brought Briana to spend Monday day and night with Daddy. Briana arrived at Daddy's house to find even more presents under his tree than the last time she'd been there, which was only just the previous Saturday.

"I have another surprise for you, monkey, but that one you can have now, and it's not under the tree."

"I don't even have to wait for Christmas?" she practically squealed with delight.

He grinned, shaking his head. "Nope. You can enjoy it right now. It's in the backyard."

She gasped, her mouth wide open. She really did squeal and then ran fast as a bullet to the backyard. Alex waited, grinning all over. He waited... and waited... Finally, a piercing yell erupted from his backyard. There it was. His angel had found her early surprise.

"Daddy, you got me a swing set?!" She came running back into the house. She ran at him and jumped and he caught her in his arms.

"I got you a swing set! Do you like it?"

"I do, Daddy! Thank you so much!" She hugged him and he kissed her cute monkey cheeks and for that moment everything felt wonderful.

***Bedtime***

"Teeth brushed?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Let me see."

She opened her mouth wide and he pretended to scrutinize the pearly white baby teeth like a staff general checking the troops for imperfect uniforms.

"Very good," he said finally, prompting her to close her mouth and smile with the satisfaction of pleasing her dad.

"What about Joe?" he asked mock-sternly.

"I fed Joe."

"All right. Did you pick out a book for us to read?"

"Yes, Daddy. The Polar Express."

Alex frowned in surprise. "I thought you wanted to read that one with mom, tomorrow night, for Christmas Eve."

"No, Daddy, we'll read the Christmas Carol with Mommy tomorrow night."

Now Alex was extremely surprised. "The scary one? With ghosts?"

Briana nodded stoically. "Yeah, I know it's scary, but I'm four now. I'm ready. Besides, Canille said it's not that scary. She said the pictures are funny."

"OK then, Polar Express tonight, just you me, and tomorrow night, at Mommy's house..." He wagged his eyelashes in a teasing way. "Mommy's house is much better for the scary books."

Briana shook her head defiantly. "Mommy's house isn't scary, Daddy. It's a sad house, not a scary house. That's what Auntie Emma says and I believe her." (Briana understood the reality, that 'Auntie Emma' was her sister-in-law; it was just out of affection for an older, aunt-like, almost-second-mother figure who was too big to be like a real sister that she took to calling Emma that way. Oddly, she never called her brother "uncle Dylan," but just Dylan. Just Dylan and Auntie Emma.)

Alex leaned back against the headboard of his daughter's bed, put up his socked feet, and pulled her close to him. "Why does Aunt Emma say that?"

"Because bad things happened there."

Alex felt cold. Had Emma told his daughter about the horrors that had happened under that roof? "What bad things?" he asked in barely above a whisper, feeling dread at what his daughter would say.

She merely shrugged. "I don't know, but I can feel it. Anyway, Mommy's always sad there."

"She is?"

"She cries. Every night. She doesn't know that I know but I can hear her. She's sad. I don't know how to make her not sad. She smiles more when you're around."

He saw a lifeline and took it. "Well, I'll have to be around more, won't I?"

"Really?" She peered up at him, hopeful eyes.

"Yeah. In fact, your mom and I have been talking about that. Me being around more. Would you like that?"

"Of course, Daddy," she smiled. "I love it when you're around."

She said it in that heart-melting way only a child can master.

They read _The Polar Express _together. Unusually, Briana stayed awake until the end.

"Why can only he hear the bell, Daddy?"

"Because he never stopped believing."

"Believing in what?"

"Santa Claus."

"But why did his sister stop believing?"

Alex had to think about it. He thought sadly about his own experience of ceasing to believe. He was barely older than Briana when he stopped believing in Santa. He cringed as he remembered the way his father would mock his mother for talking about Santa with Alex. "Don't fill his head with such nonsense, Tessy," the old man would say. _"The sooner he knows that there is no magic in life the better. We are the work we are willing to do. There is no magic or god that will save us. We save ourselves or we drown."_

Alex rubbed his fingers against his daughter's soft head. Her hair was so soft from being fresh shampooed. The tear-free baby shampoo by Johnson & Johnson had become one of his favorite smells. He chose his words carefully. "Honey, a lot of times we adults stop believing in magic. I stopped believing in magic and I was very sad for a long time. Then I met your mother."

"But Mommy is sad too, Daddy."

"Not when I met her. She wasn't sad. The first time I saw her, she was smiling. So big, so much smiling. I got lost in her eyes. You know, you have your mother's eyes."

His daughter glanced up at him. "Mommy is pretty."

He smiled. "Yes, she is, and so are you."

"I'm not pretty like Mommy."

"What makes you say that?"

"Mommy says I look like you."

"And you don't think I'm pretty?"

"No, Dad, you're not pretty. Only girls are pretty."

"Well, you're a girl, aren't you?"

"Yeah, but I look like you. Girls who look like boys can't be pretty."

"Who says?"

"Canille."

"Well, Canille doesn't know everything."

"She does about boys, Daddy. She has two brothers. I want a brother."

"You have a brother. You forgot about Dylan?"

"Not a way older brother, Daddy. A baby one. Canille has an older brother and a baby one."

"Well!" Alex shifted so that his feet could hit the floor. He turned to face his little princess and to settle her under the covers. "It sounds like Canille has a lot to learn about being pretty. Because you're a beautiful girl just like your mommy and anyone who doesn't recognize that has a lot to learn about beauty."

* * *

***ALEX IN BED HIS HOUSE WHATEVER #'S ON COUNTY LINE ROAD; NORMA IN BED AT WHATEVER #'S ON HWY 10.* HUSBAND AND WIFE TEXTING ***

-BRIANA WANTS A BABY BROTHER

-I KNOW

-THERE'S A WAY TO ACCOMPLISH THAT

-ALEX

-JUST SAYING!

-A COUNTY SHERIFF SUV DRIVES BY THE HOUSE EVERY HALF HOUR. YOUR DOING?

-I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

-ALEX!

-NORMA!

-HOW IS MONKEY?

-MONKEY IS FAST ASLEEP DREAMING OF UNICORNS AND BELLS THAT ONLY CHILDREN CAN HEAR?

-THE POLAR EXPRESS? I THOUGHT WE WOULD READ THAT TOGETHER!

-ME TOO BUT SHE WANTED TO READ IT TONIGHT. SHE SAID SHE WANTS TO READ THE CHRISTMAS CAROL TOMORROW.

-BUT SHE'S AFRAID OF THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS FUTURE!

-I KNOW BUT TONIGHT SHE SAID "I'M FOUR, I'M READY NOW."

-OMG ALEX SHE'S NOT READY

-SHE THINKS SHE IS, I THINK SHE IS

-SHE'S NOT READY, MOMMY KNOWS BEST

-I'LL LET YOU TELL HER THAT

-WELL I SUPPOSE THE PICTURE BOOK VERSION WON'T BE SO SCARY BUT DON'T BLAME ME WHEN SHE WANTS TO SLEEP IN OUR BED FOR THE NEXT YEAR AND A HALF!

-OUR BED?

-YES

-WE DON'T SHARE A BED YET. WE WON'T BE DOING THAT UNTIL YOU AGREE TO TELLING BRIANA.

-WHICH I'VE DONE

-YOU HAVE? NEWS TO ME

-I JUST HADN'T TOLD YOU YET. WE ARE GOING TO TELL HER TOMORROW.

-ON XMAS EVE?

-WHY NOT?

-NO REASON WHY NOT! XMAS EVE IS PERFECT! SHE'LL BE SO HAPPY AFTER OPENING ALL HER PRESENTS AND EATING YOUR FOOD!

-THE KEY TO A DAUGHTER'S LOVE IS TO PLEASE HER STOMACH!

-AND GREED!

-GOODNIGHT HUSBAND

-GOODNIGHT WIFE. I LOVE YOU

-I LOVE YOU MORE

-IMPOSSIBLE

-I LOVE YOU MORE THAN I EVER DID. I LOVE YOU MORE EVERYDAY.

-WELL I'VE LOVED YOU LONGEST

-HOW LONG?

-FROM THE MOMENT YOU ANSWERED YOUR DOOR IN YOUR BATHROBE AND LIED TO ME!

-HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I LIED TO YOU WHILE WEARING THAT BATHROBE? MORE THAN ONCE!

-YES BUT I'M REFERRING TO THE FIRST TIME. HOW LONG HAVE YOU LOVED ME?

-IT'S HARD TO PINPOINT THE BEGINNING. FROM THE TIME I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU I JUST SORT OF FORGOT WHAT IT WAS LIKE NOT BEING LOVE WITH YOU.

-WHEN DID YOU LIKE ME?

-OH THAT'S EASY. IT WAS WHEN YOU EMERGED FROM ROOM 11 WEARING A SUIT AND TOLD ME THAT YOU COULD SEE THROUGH MY CURTAINS!

-REALLY?

-YEP

-JESUS NORMA I WISH I KNEW THAT AT THE TIME!

-OH ALEX WE WASTED SO MUCH TIME!

-WE WON'T WASTE ANYMORE, WILL WE? TOMORROW?

-YES

-WE TELL HER?

-YES

-RIGHT. GOOD NIGHT NORMA. I LOVE YOU TIMES INFINITY.


	7. Chapter 7

Alex and Briana didn't head over to the Bates motel/residence until Norma texted the all clear. Norma was acting very mysterious and secretive-like. "You can come now," was all she wrote in the text, and Alex was beyond confused by it. No "I love you," no "merry Christmas," not even a "see you soon." Just "You can come now."

Outside, it was freezing. Good on Alex for making sure the little monkey was well wrapped up. Her little nose, a miniature of her mother's, poked out from the tiny exposed bit of skin between hat and scarf.

Alex was surprised to see a car parked at the motel. It was covered, though. The owner had apparently taken the precaution of protecting his/her car from the weather by covering it with a tarpaulin. And it was a big car too. Alex wondered if it might be a Hummer.

Norma had been keeping up the maintenance around the motel. All the doors had Christmas wreathes. There were hanging baskets of plants trimmed with Christmas bulbs hanging along the edge of the covered walkway connecting the rooms and the office. But to Alex's knowledge, there was no one staying there, except apparently the conscientious owner of the Hummer-sized, tarpaulin-covered vehicle.

"Daddy, look!" Briana pointed excitedly from the backseat. Alex had just parked the SUV next to Norma's car by the steps that led up to the house. He looked up to see what the monkey was so excited about. His jaw dropped. The entire stairwell was lined on both sides with bags with lit candles in them.

"Norma, what have you done?" Alex asked the wife who was not present to hear the incredulity in his voice. The public servant in him was horrified by the potential fire hazard. Yet even he had to admit the effect was beautiful. Even though it was daytime, the total cloud cover utterly obfuscated the sun. The bags lining the stairs not only lit the way up to the door, they gave the entire house a magical effect. Alex was pacified when he saw that the candles were actually just tealight LED candles. But it wasn't just the candles and the luminary bags that made the scene magical. It was the whole lighted nativity scene on one side of the stairwell and the Santa's sleigh and reindeer on the other side. Briana jumped up and down, ran slightly ahead, and gaped and squealed with delight at everything. It was all so beautiful! _How did she do it_? Alex wondered. _Surely Norma did not do all this alone in one night_!

But the best was yet to come! On the porch, Briana lost the vocals to emit the scream (of delight) within her. There, beside the door, was a rocking chair with a gigantic stuffed bear in a Santa Claus outfit. The door opened. Norma emerged, smug and red-cheeked. "I see you've met Bear Claus!"

"Bear Claus?" Alex asked, emphasis on the word Bear. His eyes, meanwhile, devoured Norma: she was wearing a V-necked, holly-berry print dress that hugged her waist and, in typical Norma retro style, flared out in the skirt part.

"Who is Bear Claus?" Briana asked. "There is no Bear Claus, Mommy. It's just Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus and all the reindeer! You never said there was bears at the North Pole!"

Norma bent down to her daughter's level. "That's because it's a secret," she whispered conspiratorially. "And he doesn't live at the North Pole."

"Where does he live then?" Briana was genuinely confused.

"He doesn't really live in one place for very long. I'm told that he likes to hang out with a different family every Christmas. This year, he chose us."

"But isn't he cold out here?"

"Oh no, bears like the cold. That's why they have all that fur. He's quite happy as long as I continue to supply him with honey and cocoa! See?"

Sure enough, to Alex's great amusement, there was a covered jar labeled honey and a mug of now-cold cocoa on a little table next to Bear Claus.

As they moved inside the little vestibule, Alex kept trying to make eye contact with Norma, but she was avoiding his gaze for some reason. He longed to know how she had learned about "Bear Claus," which was a tradition from his own childhood. Had someone in town told her about it? Or was "Bear Claus on the porch" not such a unique tradition as he previously thought and somehow Norma knowing about it was merely a coincidence? Had Norma's parents also done the "Bear Claus on the porch" thing? From the little he knew about the Calhouns of Boise, he found that hard to believe.

Coats and hats shaken off, scarfs deposited onto the coat rack. Through the vestibule, into the house. Dark house! Very dark house! And so silent!

"Norma, what's going on?"

"Mommy, where is the lights?"

Norma nudged both of them toward the left, in other words the living room.

And suddenly many things happened all at once. The lights popped on. Dylan and Emma and Katie jumped out of, seemingly, nowhere. There was a massive train set, which, at the same time as the lights coming on, was activated. Jack-in-the-box toys popped open. Best of all, the music! Elvis singing "Santa Bring My Baby Back to Me!" The atmosphere was electric. Katie and Briana, almost the same age, immediately fell into dance with each other. Dylan and Emma laughed as they made their way to the older couple. Emma was wearing a very festive plaid, knee-length dress and a Santa hat. Dylan had cleaned up nicely too. Dressed in his usual jeans and baseball tee, he smelled specially nice and was grinning from the eyes, better than Alex had ever seen him. And it had been a long time, too long, since Alex had seen him or Emma. Alex knew about their daughter Katie, but only vicariously. It hit him just now that this was his family, from now on, for always. His wonderful, beautiful, perfect family. The one he'd never dared to expect. And look at all this that they had done, how they had taken Alex and Briana completely by surprise!

* * *

"You're very sneaky, Mrs. Romero," Alex said later as he pulled her to him and nibbled on her neck. They had stolen a little alone time while the others got ready for lunch and Alex intended to make use of it.

"The best is yet to come," she uttered as best as she could while he was so skillfully hitting all her pressure points.

"How did you know?" He gently took her face into his hands and looked lovingly into her eyes.

"Know what?"

"About Bear Claus?"

The grin that burst so vibrantly on her face made him chuckle.

"Who told you, Mrs. Romero?"

"A little birdie."

"A little birdie, huh?"

"I even got the original, the bear and the costume," she said.

"How?"

"Well, by stroke of luck, it wasn't left in your parents' house, to burn along with everything else they owned. Regina had it."

Alex looked at her in wonder. His Aunt Regina, who lived at an assisted living facility ten miles outside of town. "Regina? She had it? In her tiny apartment?"

Norma's grin widened. "Yep. She was keeping him all dressed up too. Did you happen to notice the sheriff badge?"

"No," laughed Alex. "Jesus, I forgot about that. What made you think of it?"

"Well, I went up there to bring her some presents and flowers. Just in case you forgot with everything going on. She and I decided it was time to introduce the Old Bear to the newest generation in the family."

Alex felt a pang of guilt, alongside an awful lot of increased love for Norma. "I did forget to visit her. Let's go tomorrow. We'll take Briana."

"OK. We'll all go. The whole family."

"The whole family," Alex repeated, moving his hands up her back and pressing his forehead to hers.

* * *

"So it's your truck covered up and parked at the motel?" Alex began to his son-in-law as they shared the assignment of putting dishes on the table.

"Yeah, well, we had to keep you from being suspicious," Dylan said sheepishly.

"Suspicious of what?"

"Well, we knew you'd be weirded out, thinking Mom did all this shit on her own. Not that she isn't totally capable."

"Yeah," agreed Alex. "We all know she is. But honestly, I thought it had to be a Hummer under that tarpaulin."

Dylan laughed. "Nah, it's the same old truck. I did put some new tires on it, though."

Emma cackled. "New tires?! Haha! He's so understating what he's done for that truck!"

"Oh the tires are the best part though," Dylan eagerly gushed for Alex's benefit. "Maximum traction for every off-the-road circumstance. I can't wait to show you. You wanna go look now?"

Alex laughed. "Well, maybe not just now that we're all cleaned up for eating."

* * *

Norma was talking to the little girls about the train set.

"My dad found it," said Katie. "Right, Nana?"

"That's right," affirmed Norma to her grandchild.

"Where did he find it?" asked Briana.

"It was in the attic," said Katie. "He went up there looking for some stuff that belonged to uncle Norman."

Norma went pale and she began to panic.

"Who's uncle Norman?" Briana asked.

"Katie, go find the flowers I told you about earlier. The ones we're going to put on the table for lunch."

"OK," said Katie, eagerly running off to fulfill her assignment.

Norma turned to her daughter.

"Who's uncle Norman, Mommy? Is that Aunt Emma's brother?"

"No, sweetie," said Norma sadly. She could have said yes, just to avoid the awkward conversation, but she couldn't stand lying to her daughter, and she knew that lying now would only make telling the truth worse later. "Norman is Dylan's brother."

"What do you mean? Dylan doesn't have a brother."

"Not anymore. Norman died."

"Oh."

"But we're not going to talk about Norman now. We'll talk about him another day. I'll answer all of your questions. But for now, you need to know that Norman is in heaven and he's happy and he wants all of us to be happy too."

"Is he my brother too?"

Norma nodded, stroking her daughter's face with the back of her hand. "He is your brother."

"Is Daddy his daddy?"

"No. Like Dylan, Norman had a different daddy."

"Is he buried next to Grandma?" (Norma knew she meant Granny Romero, Alex's mother.)

"No..." Norma struggled inside herself to find the way to explain to her four-year-old about cremation. She regretted now her decision not to bury her middle child. Unlike with Alex's mother, there was no place to take Briana to see for herself the most non-abstract representation of death where the grotesqueness of a corpse is not involved. Why, when everything went so perfectly, did her past have to creep up like a buzzkill? Poor little Katie had no idea what a pandora's box she opened with her innocent words. Her parents had told her about uncle Norman who died in a car crash- a fictional twist to avoid telling a four-year-old that sometimes, some people choose to take their own lives. Dylan and Emma had been forced into it too- after Katie had found a picture of the two brothers. Now Norma was forced to explain "uncle Norman" to Briana. She decided to go with Dylan's story of the car crash, but even that would have to wait.

_We can't tell her now_, Norma thought with a horrible pang in her chest. She meant the news of her and Alex being 'together' again. Such news compounded with the news about "uncle Norman" would be far too much, at one time. Adults, let alone four-year-olds, would struggle to process such a seismic shift in worldview.


	8. Chapter 8

Dylan and Emma were determined to head back to Seattle...to spend some of the holidays with her dad... Norma tried to convince them to stay at least through Christmas Day, but they wanted to visit some friends on the way. Dylan said something about stopping by to see his old friend Remo, who had taken the plunge into domestic life and now lived in Portland with his wife and children. So after lunch everyone gathered around the tree to open presents. Alex could tell Norma was troubled about something. She successfully hid her inner pain from everyone else. She was masterful at hiding it from her children and grandchild. Emma was a little bit more perceptive; she certainly sensed a shift for the worse in Norma, but, unlike Alex, Emma's greatest distraction and joy came from her own child ripping open presents and squealing with happiness. Alex certainly loved watching Briana do the same, but his attention was divided between two great loves. He could not ignore that Norma seemed to be uncomfortable when he tried to hold her hand; she moved away from him and avoided his eyes.

Once all the presents were opened, or so Alex thought, the two little girls happily played together with their new toys while Norma provided the refill of caramel apple cider with cinnamon sticks for the adults.

"Oh wait it looks like there's one more present, Mom," Dylan said, pointing at an enormous box wrapped in elegant paper with a giant bow on top.

"Oh," said Norma, losing color in her cheeks and glancing quickly at Alex, then away again. "Yes. That's for Alex. But we don't have to open it now."

"Yeah," said Alex, sensing Norma's discomfort. "My present for you is at my house, along with more goodies for Briana. We can do our gift exchange tomorrow. This time is for you kids."

"Oh come on," gushed Emma. "I'm dying to see what's in that enormous box!"

"Emma, I think they want some privacy," Dylan said, sensing both Alex and Norma's unease.

"No, it's ok," said Norma, forcing a smile mostly for Alex's benefit. Since being cornered into talking to Briana about Norman, she had been losing faith in tomorrow being a very pleasant day. Perhaps it was better if Alex and Briana did Christmas Day without her, was her reasoning. "Alex, go ahead, open it."

He wished she would look at him for more than a split second. He knew why she avoided his eyes. He could tell if she was being truthful just by a simple look. He wanted to grab her by the shoulders and make her look at him, but instead of something so dramatic, he stood up and went to the ridiculously large box. He untied the bow and peeled off the paper. It was a plain white box. He opened it and found another box inside it, also gift wrapped. What the hell?

He looked at Norma. She was smiling. "Keep going."

He shook his head and opened the second box. Another gift wrapped box, again slightly smaller than the one before it, greeted him.

"Norma, what is this?"

She was now laughing. Emma and Dylan was pleasantly amused as well.

He rolled his eyes and kept opening more and more boxes until finally there was a box small enough to fit inside his hand. More wrapping paper to remove, and there it was. A ring box. He stood up and sat next to Norma, holding the ring box between them.

"You got me a ring?"

Norma looked at him lovingly. "Open it."

He did. It was a truly exquisite wedding ring. White gold. Beveled. Dulled in the middle and more shiny on the edges. It had an inscription on the inside. _Maybe this time_.

"Norma."

"I thought it was time. You know, to make it look real."

And there, for the first time since lunch, their eyes met and they both said everything they more needed to hear without having to say it.

* * *

Norma became very emotional in saying goodbye to her son, to Emma, and to little Katie. "Please don't stay away so long," she implored to Dylan and to Emma at the same time.

"We won't," promised Emma. "But you must also come to Seattle, to see our place. It's changed a lot since the last time you were there. We finally bought curtains!"

Norma laughed. "And Katie?"

"Yes, Nana?"

"You must remind your father to think of his mother and sister sometimes."

"I wish we all lived together!" Katie exclaimed. "In the same house and everything. Then we would see each other everyday and I could wear your clothes, Nana!"

"You want to wear my clothes?" Norma found her granddaughter eminently charming. Katie was the picture of Emma in physicality, but in personality she was all the best bits of mother, father, and paternal grandmother. Emma's sweetness, Dylan's boldness, Norma's stylishness; all of it bound up in little Katie Decody-Massett.

"Uh-huh!" The girl hugged Norma at the waist.

"They're a bit big for you, aren't they?"

"That's ok! I like to pretend I'm tall and beautiful just like you!"

Norma guffawed. "You think I'm tall now, Katie, but I promise you that someday you will be as tall as your parents, much taller than I, and with your genetics, on both sides, I think much more beautiful as well."

"You think so?"

"I know so. You will be so beautiful that your father will never know a day of rest!"

"Don't say that, Mom," said Dylan. "Please."

"It's true and you deserve it for all the grief you gave me!"

Dylan knew that Norma was only teasing. Their relationship had come so far in the last few years. He hardly ever called her "Norma" anymore. Long ago were the days when her contact on his phone was labeled "The Whore." She had given him away at his wedding to Emma, had witnessed the birth of Katie, and had shown to him that, despite her faults and mistakes, she was ready to be the parent that was always there, the one who would never runaway because it became too hard, and the one who would never again disappoint him. He watched her change from the time she married Alex, watched her grieve over Norman and blame herself for everything that went wrong, watched her 'trying again' with Briana and Alex, and now saw the sunshine in her rising again. The real Norma had always been there, just under the surface, dying to come out. Now she was finally free. And Dylan adored her, was crazy about the mother he saw now. When she teased him, he laughed and embraced her and almost cried from the overwhelming happiness of seeing her so fulfilled. He and Emma had been rooting for Norma to forgive Alex and take him back all along, but out of respect for her privacy they never said anything. They hoped in silence.


	9. Chapter 9

Alex, Norma, and Briana watched the other three drive away...Alex's arm around Norma's shoulders, his resting on the shoulder of his daughter, who leaned back against him. Norma held his hand that hung over her shoulder and waved with her other hand. She was crying. Her son and his family had interrupted their road trip to come to her aid and now, seeing them leave her again was a sharp and painful reminder of ... something which is perhaps too horrible to say. A tale of Norma's two families? The one before and the one after? Like a before and after picture of a tragic life: the tragedy and then the happily ever after? Somehow Dylan got stuck in the middle of all of it and yet he too got his happily ever after.

The three Romeros had turned to make their way up to the house when they heard another car crunching across the parking area in front of the motel. They all turned in surprise. It was a fairly recent-year Honda Pilot. Norma looked at Alex with a sparkle in her eye. "Wow, business on Christmas Eve?"

Alex winked. "Go get 'em, tiger. Want us to come with you?"

"Yeah, why not? We'll greet them as a family. I mean, that's our marketing strategy, 'family friendly,' right?"

It was indeed a family. A man, a woman, and two little girls. Older than Briana, but no more than seven or eight years old. They both had missing teeth.

"Hi," the man greeted Norma and Alex, extending his hand. "You're Dylan's mom, right? I'm Remo Wallace."

Alex and Norma both gasped. "Oh!" Norma exclaimed. "My son just left! He's going to see you!"

"Really?"

"This is crazy," said Alex to Norma. "You better call him."

Norma got on her phone to do just that.

Remo nervously continued to laugh over it. "We wanted to see the old town. We thought Dylan would surely be up here."

"Well, he will be," assured Alex. "He'll turn around as soon as Norma tells him you're here, I guarantee it. So did you want a room?"

"Yes."

"Come on, I'll get you checked in. Then you'll be all set when they come back."

"Sheriff Romero," said Remo, making Alex turn back from the motel office where he'd been walking toward. "This is my wife, Allison, and my two daughters, Christina and Melissa."

"It's nice to meet you," said Alex a little awkwardly. He vaguely remembered Remo's face, the guy who worked for the Morgan side of the drug business for years, back when White Pine Bay was the host town of an illegal drug trade started with help by, ironically enough, Alex's own father. He led them into the office. Now everything was different. Family friendly.

Briana stayed with Norma, trying to grab the phone from her to talk to her brother. "Dylan, Remo's here, come back!"

It wasn't long before Dylan came driving back onto the gravel in front of the motel. He jumped out and marched right into the motel office. Emma climbed out, helped Katie out, and exchanged exasperated looks with Norma, what clearly said 'men!.'

"My mistake, really," said Emma. "I knew I should have done the planning for this trip. Clearly, there was zero communication between Dylan and Remo."

"Haphazard communication, more likely," said Norma.

"Does this mean we're staying, mama?" Katie looked up at Emma with hopeful eyes.

"I think it does, sweetheart."

Katie and Briana both started jumping up and down, both screaming with joy, hindered slightly by the bulk of their winter coats and boots.

Everyone else came out of the office. Alex walked over immediately to Norma. "I gave them Room 11. I was always comfortable in there."

"That's fine, honey," she said, beaming up at him. "You had an open field of choices."

"We need a room too, Mom," said Dylan.

Norma looked surprised. "You don't want to stay in your old room?"

Dylan scoffed. "Mom, I have a wife and daughter now. We need a little bit more space. Remo, this is awesome. We're gonna have so much fun. How long are you guys in town?"

Allison Wallace spoke up for the first time. "Five days. We're leaving Sunday."

"We'll be back in Portland for New Year's," added Remo. "Allie's family has a big thing they do."

Norma ran into the office to grab a key, then back out, and hand it to Dylan. "Room 10, right next to your friends."

"Thanks, Mom," Dylan said. He kissed her on the cheek.

Norma bent down to address Katie. "Sweetheart, do you want to stay in the motel with your mama and daddy or would you rather stay at the big house with us?"

Katie considered, too long apparently, because Briana spoke before she could. "Mommy, can Katie and I stay in one of the rooms? Just us?"

Norma looked a bit rattled at this proposition. Her four-year-old daughter and about-four-year-old granddaughter alone in a room?

Emma came to her rescue. "I think they'll be ok, Norma. We'll be right next door."

"I don't know," mused Norma. "They're awfully young."

Alex liked the idea. "Why not, Norma? There are plenty of adults down here to keep an eye on them."

Alex was probably the only person who could have assured Norma of something being a good or bad idea. Especially when it came to their mutual child.

"All right, then," Norma somewhat reluctantly agreed.

Remo's daughters wanted to do the same thing. Only the expense of two rooms made Remo hesitate, but Norma insisted on letting them all stay free of charge. Remo looked a bit reluctant to accept such generosity.

"Mrs. Bates, no, I mean, Mrs. Romero, I know how hard you work to keep this place going. Believe me, I can afford to pay for all of us to stay here."

"Remo, stop. No more about it. You're a family friend."

* * *

Norma was a nervous wreck about leaving her daughter and granddaughter down in the motel, in a room of their own, so Alex had run to his SUV to grab a spare walkie. He showed the girls how to press the button for talk, how to talk into the walkie, and wait for his reply. This direct line of SOS was very effective toward calming Norma's fears. Alex grinned to himself for such quick-on-the-feet thinking. He couldn't wait to get Norma alone! Alone in that house for one night! Just the two of them!


	10. Chapter 10

Norma made dinner for everyone. A lot of it was leftovers, to be perfectly honest, but being her cooking, it was all delicious. Norma acquired a new "biggest fan" too. Allison Wallace hung on her every word and gesture. Allison peppered Norma with questions about how to make this, how to steam that, how long/at what temperature to preheat the oven, etc. After the meal, there wasn't much inclination "to party." Everyone was too exhausted. The little girls bathed, the adults liquored up, everyone except Norma and Alex retired to the motel. Norma and Alex did go down to the motel to say good nights to Briana and Katie. Just before Briana's parents left the room, Alex reminded the girls to use the walkie in case they got scared about anything. "But remember it's not a toy," he added sternly. "It's for use if you're afraid, but not to play with. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Daddy," said Briana. "Is it your police walkie?"

"Yes, and that's why you're not to play with it as a toy; the channel needs to be open for real emergencies." (The truth was that Alex had set the channel to one only he was connected to, but he acted like it was the same channel used by his deputies; if the girls thought all of the sheriff's department would hear them, they would be less likely to be silly with it.)

"Don't hesitate to use it if you are really scared," added Alex. "Don't be shy about it. Press the button like I showed you and then use the telephone to call Dylan and Emma." (Norma had written down the number to room 10 where Katie's parents were sleeping.)

* * *

Alex and Norma walked up to the house huddled together, his arm around her shoulders. Pressing his lips against the side of her head, he asked her to talk to him. "Will you tell me now that we're alone why you've been upset with me since lunchtime?"

"Oh, Alex, I haven't been upset with you!"

"Coulda fooled me. You've been avoiding eye contact, shirking away from my touch. You didn't want me to open my present at first. Don't lie to me, Norma. I saw it in your face. You tried to keep me from opening the fifty thousand boxes concealing my wedding ring."

"No, Alex, I'm not lying to you. I'm not upset with you. I'm worried about the fact that Briana now knows about Norman."

Alex stopped and made Norma stop too. "What are you talking about?"

She nodded toward the house. "Let's talk inside. It's freezing out here."

* * *

Inside the house, in the kitchen, Norma revving up the electric kettle (a former year's Christmas gift from Emma) ... Alex seated at the table...

"It was before lunch. Just me and Katie and Briana while the rest of you were in the dining room. Katie was telling us about Dylan the train set while browsing the attic for something that belonged to Norman. She said 'uncle Norman' and of course Briana was immediately curious. I couldn't lie to her, Alex. What was I supposed to say? I always imagined telling her would be so different, that it would be so different, that I would sit her down and explain everything when she was old enough to understand. Except what age is old enough to understand something so tragic? I'm 44 and I barely understand it."

Alex reached for her hand. "What exactly did you tell her?"

"I told her that he was her other brother, that he died."

"Did you tell her how he died?"

"No, I just told her we would talk about it another day. I said we would talk about with you, as a family."

"And she hasn't asked about it since?"

"No, but, Alex, don't you see? This changes everything. How can we tell her about us now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Alex! We're about to tell her about Norman! You think it's wise to compound that with the news about us being back together?"

"Norma, there's never going to be a perfect time, and you said it yourself: it's hardly bad news that her parents are in love and want to live in the same house."

"But, Alex, they are huge changes!"

The kettle began beeping, alerting them to that the water was ready to be poured over the tea leaves. Norma went to it. Alex came up behind her. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and hugged her close to him. He kissed her all over her face and neck, causing her to laugh from the tickling sensation.

"We're a family, Norma. We do huge changes together." He made her turn around, cupped her face in his hands. "Do not use this as a reason to keep me at bay."

Norma once again marveled at what she liked to term his unicorn powers: those magical abilities he had for calming her down.

She hugged him, holding him like a life raft and resting the side of her face in that wonderful anxiolytic place between chin and collarbone. He closed his eyes, loving and savoring the feeling of her.

It happened seamlessly, without preamble, without any kind of transition... as if there had been no lapse in their intimacy... In fact, the mere act of their embrace triggered a powerful memory in Alex. It took him back much more than four years ago to their night in Room 1. Some of the feelings and something of the circumstances were similar. They'd been parted, forced to live apart by Norma's anxiety over how Norman would react to their relationship. The bubble burst, two weeks of heaven interrupted. A night of stolen splendor alleviated some of their sexual frustration, but the bubble was gone forever. It had burst and its molecules evaporated into the atmosphere. Then, Norman's suicide... A second take of Norman, Norma's gun, and the woods, only without Norma chasing him down and stopping him from doing the irreversible. Norman had left a note in his bedroom. The note explained his fear, based on hallucinated conversations with the Mother personality, that he was a danger to his actual mother. The bereaved mother took those words literally and connected them to Alex's warnings. It was Alex's fault, she decided. Alex had put the idea in Norman's head, she reasoned (very unreasonably, considering that Alex had never spoken of such ideas to Norman himself.) Nevertheless, the mother grieving her son's suicide latched onto the nearest object ready to take the blame, and Alex was ready. It was easy for Alex to take the blame. Blaming himself was his favorite pastime; why not let Norma do it for him? He stepped aside, he let her abuse him, he gave her the space and time she needed, he gave her whatever she needed. And then she found she was pregnant...

* * *

_It was an especially horrible week for the Sheriff of White Pine Bay. Between the mysterious drowning deaths at Trout Lake and the domestic abuse calls, Alex was ready for a very long vacation. Norma called in the middle of one particularly stressful day for which the only bright side for Alex was the bottle of whiskey waiting for him at his house. Norma wasn't doing a whole lot of speaking to Alex at this time. It was less than two months from Norman's funeral. The few times they saw each other always went the same way: Alex trying to approach her, Norma hurrying away, insisting she was in no mood to chat. _

_"Norma?"_

_"Alex..."_

_She sounded... distant. Not physically so, for she was perfectly audible. But her tone sounded like... the tone of a woman wishing to fade away, far away from all of her problems. _

_"Norma, what is it?"_

_"I need to see you."_

_They were melting words. They melted his heart. A smile threatened to spread across his face. He restrained it, not daring to hope. _

_"I'll come over right now. Are you home?"_

_"Yes." _

_Five minutes. That's all it took for him to be from the crime scene, to his car, in his car, buckled in, and driving to Norma._

_She was waiting for him, that was obvious, since the door swung open almost at the exact moment that he stepped onto the porch. She was pale, worried-looking, her face stained from tears. _

_"Norma! What's wrong?" He reached for her, but she moved away, turning to open the second door into the house. He followed her in, closing both doors himself. _

_She started pacing and running her hands through her hair. "Alex, I don't know how to tell you this, and I don't want you to think I have any expectations. I've done this twice already. Both times, on my own, completely, even though I was married. It's just that my husbands were useless bastards. But I was fine then and I'll be fine now. It's just so unexpected."  
_

_"Norma! Will you stop? Please?" He stopped her with his arms, Norma being mid-step, and used his strength to stop her from pushing him away. _

_"I'm pregnant, Alex. I'm pregnant, ok?" She looked at him steadily, but his lack of response and the blankness of his face made her lose that steadiness quickly. She fainted and Alex was just barely able to regain the presence of mind to keep her from cracking her skull on the floor. _

_He carried her, bride-style, to the couch, laid her down, and rushed to procure an ice pack from the kitchen. She woke up with Alex pressing an ice pack to her forehead. _

_She reached up to touch his wrist, the one attached to the hand that was holding the ice pack. "What? What happened?"_

_"You fainted."_

_"Oh."_

_He didn't say anything, fearful that his words might reawaken her anxiety. _

_She sat up slowly, taking the ice pack into her own hands. "I'm pregnant, Alex."_

_"I know."_

_She looked at him, somewhat apologetically. "I envisioned this conversation somewhat differently. I'm sorry."_

_"There's no reason to be sorry, Norma." He moved to sit next to her on the couch. He placed one of his hands on top of hers, which rested on her lap. "And as for the idea of you doing this alone, forget ab__out it. I'm the father and I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be involved in everything."_

_And he was. He went to every one of her __lamaze classes. He never missed an OB GYN checkup. He even accompanied Norma to the physical therapist for the Kegel exercises. They were married. They had separate living arrangements, but never even filed for legal separation let alone divorce. That day, when Norma told him she was pregnant and then fainted, they made a silent agreement to be co-parents, separate as regards each other but very much together for their child. _

* * *

And now, about four years later, holding each other in Norma's kitchen, Alex decided that the time had come to stop wasting time. He knew she loved him, he knew he loved her. Why were they being so stupid? Norma being anxious, Alex being a gentleman...these things, respectively understandable and noble, had stood in the way of their happiness. A little less anxiety, a little less gentleman-like behavior might have yielded more satisfactory conditions. Blue eyes and caramel eyes came to focus on each other. Alex held her face in his hands, stroked her jaw in much the same way he had done on that night when she broke into his house to look for the Bob Paris flash drive. Only this time, she was not crying. This time, her eyes spoke not of fear and contempt but of love and lust. Her lips seemed to be begging to be kissed. Alex was not going to let this moment pass by. He determined to do what he should have done years ago on that day when he learned that he was going to be a father: throw caution to the wind and kiss the woman he loved, the woman who was too stubborn or too proud to be happy.


End file.
